Weakness.

Insecurities.




We all have them.


Some of us

hide them
flaunt them
conceal them
reveal them to large groups of friends and strangers blog about them
try anything to overcome them
overcompensate for them
get angry about them



Very few people actually take delight in them. In fact, I know only one person who gave advice about that, or at least shared his story about what his weaknesses taught him. It might be a little familiar to you.

...so I wouldn't get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan's angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn't think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me, "My grace is enough; it's all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness."
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ's strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. (2 Cor. 12:7B-10, The Message)




Often my insecurities give me lots of thoughts and emotions, and not one of those thoughts or emotions have ever, EVER been relief!

A soldier is never relieved to see a chink in the armor.
A Neiman-Marcus shopper is never relieved to see a thread loose on that sale garment she got so excited about.
A model is never relieved to see a blemish on her face the day before her cover shoot (Have you ever seen ANTM? ack.).

You get the idea.

Can I be honest? heh heh. Like you could stop me.

My insecurities have been getting the best of me. Not Jesus. Not my loved ones. Not my job. Not my ministry.

Every single one of the aforementioned have lost out because of my many negative thoughts about myself, my self-doubt, and my desire to win the approval of others, only to fall miserably short. These are branches from the tree of lies Satan daily tries to prune (there is much MANURE for fertilization in these lies)....the lies that I hear so often I begin to believe. Instead of working on producing the fruit of the Spirit, these lies soak up all the resources I have, making me demand affirmation at every corner and sometimes wishing I could fade into the back row of life, so to speak.

It is uncomfortable, demanding, and awkward.

Relieved, I am not. Sick and tired is what I am.
and yet...
Paul tells me to consider these setbacks-weaknesses that come in the form of insecurity-as a means of avoiding pride, bringing about more faithful and constant communication with God and reliance on Him, making me more aware of my need for Christ, and learning to focus on how these limitations-these things that cause all of my many and varied insecurities-actually further the Kingdom when I relinquish them to Jesus!

Strong's tells me that the word translated as weakness in this passage can mean the following:

1) want of strength, weakness, infirmity
1a) of the body
1a1) its native weakness and frailty
1a2) feebleness of health or sickness
1b) of the soul
1b1) want of strength and capacity requisite
1b1a) to understand a thing
1b1b) to do things great and glorious
1b1c) to restrain corrupt desires
1b1d) to bear trials and troubles


I am in want of the strength and the capacity it takes to understand things, to do great and glorious things on my own, to restrain corrupt desires, and to bear hardship. I am frail, and my feeble attempts to offer righteousness are filthy rags to a Holy God.

What a beautiful thing to think that in my want, Jesus meets my needs. In my lack, He becomes greater and I become less.

That chink in the armor makes the soldier more aware-thus saving his life
The tiny thread pull is the very reason she got such a good deal, and no one else really notices it
The model is considered more "real" and down-to-earth because of her blemish and the magazine sells more copies (okay so maybe that one is far-fetched but just go with the illustration here people!)



When was the last time I thanked God for all of the ways He has used my weaknesses to bless me in the form of knowing Him more?


When was the last time I realized that without said insecurities, I might never have realized my need for Him?

When God made the sun stand still in the book of Joshua, the people knew it was not Joshua that made it happen. They recognized his limitations as a man. He was a man of God, but he was still a man.

I want people to know my limitations so God's glory can be recognized and applauded.I'm praying that Jesus will use my weaknesses and my insecurities as a megaphone declaring God's glory to all of those around me.

Lysa Terkeurst says to invite God into our lack. I think she's onto something.

Won't you join me in that prayer?

That Girl's Bookshelf: Eyes Wide Open

So Jud Wilhite, pastor of Central Christian Church in Vegas, wrote an amazing book recently.


It's not on my bookshelf, per se. It got to go with me to St. Louis because the past week it has been such an encouragement to my relationship with God.








It's called Eyes Wide Open, and I want you to read it.





LIKE, A LOT.





Jud has a thesis that I shared with you earlier this week about our view of God and ourselves, and how twisted up it really is.

It's easy to formulate a picture of God in our brains that is nothing like the God we see in Scripture. We can't get our minds around His goodness, so we develop God into someone who smites us at every corner and forces us to live on a scale where, hopefully, at the end of our lives, the good will outweigh the bad and we'll get into Heaven. If not, it triggers a celestial trapdoor. Uh-oh.


Wilhite argues from the position of God's Word that this identity we created for God isn't who He has proven Himself to be. In fact, it's the complete opposite. God is FOR us, he writes, and this knowledge has the potential to change our lives.





Jesus told us that the truth has the power to set us free. When we start learning the truth about who God is, we walk in truth about who we are in Him. That's why Wilhite wrote "Eyes Wide Open" and the reason he pastors in a place like Vegas.





If God is for us and His character stays the same, then I bet if Jesus were walking around right now, it would be in Vegas too.








I love a good story. The author does too, and he shares the stories of lots of people he has met in his ministry. People like Dog the Bounty Hunter and Paul Teutul from American Chopper, as well as people who have been forgotten by the world and who have been set free by the power of Jesus.


Wilhite separates the book into four parts:


Wide Open to God


Wide Open to Identity


Wide Open to Change


Wide Open to Influence





You see, when we start viewing the God of scripture for who He really is, we forget the "scales of justice" mentality and remember the message of the cross and the resurrection: Jesus has come to bring us life, and it doesn't matter who we are or where we've been. Anyone who chooses to live with eyes open wide to the truth of the Gospel can be free.





Free from the bondage of past mistakes
Free from the concern of public opinion
Free to love others unconditionally
Free to do big things for God
Free to live with expectancy





As the battle for our minds and heart wages, I pray that you will read it, you'll give this book to someone who is struggling. It deals very well with the topic of suffering and why a good God allows it. It also answers questions about just how far grace extends: "Could God really forgive me for ______?" People you know are bound by lies about who they are and who God is. If you're like me, you've been looking for resources to help them know truth.





I loved this book, but I think our male counterparts (and the two guys who read this blog) might relate to it as well...maybe even more! So I want you to buy it as that last-minute Father's Day gift. Because Bloggerotsky, let's face it. Some of you have yet to get Dad a sweet token of love for all of his sacrifices. What better gift to get him than something that will bless his heart and mind in Christ Jesus?





Now, please do run along and pick up a copy, or order it in your comfy pants from home right HERE. While you're at it, get an extra and let Daddy dear know he's still number one and girls, they wanna have fu-un. Oh, girls just wanna have fun! When the working day is done-

ahem.

I know that you desperately want truth in your innermost parts just as I do. Jud Wilhite wants to help, and I think this book is anointed. ENJOY!

By the way, just for the sake of truth, I am typing this in my comfy pants.

Open The Eyes of My Heart.

I am currently reading a book called "Eyes Wide Open" by Jud Wilhite. I will blog more about the whole of the book next week, but a sentence in the introduction really grabbed me and I just can't shake it.

This distorted perspective also affects how we see ourselves. We look in the mirror, and instead of seeing one loved and forgiven by God, created in His image, empowered to influence the world for Him, we see something else. We see images from the past....
If this sounds familiar to you, then I need to warn you about something: Distorted images are not only shaping your perspective but are also hindering your possibilities. If you see yourself as insignificant long enough, you'll start to act accordingly. If you see yourself as ugly or worthless, it will affect how you relate to your family and friends, your God, and your world....Rather than make your own unique contribution in the world, you may pull back and settle for mediocrity. But this is not the real you. (pp. x, emphasis mine)

Jud Wilhite is right. Often we let our past or our struggles define who we are.



You are not your sin. You are a unique creation of God, and when you let your past say what your current character is, then your joy disappears and you face a constant reminder that you feel like a total screwup.



Doubt that's the way God wants you to live.


Instead, He wants to your past to teach you about who HE is, not who YOU are.


He wants you to know that even through your mistakes He has been a faithful, forgiving, and loving God. He doesn't want you to spend your years of life walking with Him doing buttkicks because of all the things you did before you started walking with Him. Tell me what that does except give you a nice bruise on your heiny and a huge pain in the booty.


Instead, He desires a heart of true repentance. A heart that moves forward daily, further and further away from the person you once were to the person who has created you to be. He doesn't want you to sit down on the timeline of life and forget to move on.


God's will for your life is not to look in the mirror daily and regret everything you have done. He wants to you to look in the mirror and imagine what you can do and who you can be.


Don't get me wrong. Repentance is KEY in our relationships with God. But once we thoroughly apologize for our sins and commit to avoiding those pitfalls next time, God forgives and forgets it.
Those struggles that we have been through, the sin that we have allowed, can bring us closer to Jesus if we let it.

Let your heart dwell on lies long enough and you will start to believe them. Knowing how detrimental this is to us, God wants truth down to the deepest parts so that we realize that we have the freedom to overcome in the name of Christ Jesus!


May He open the eyes of our hearts to what we could be

instead of who we were.

God and That Girl in Checkout Line.

So I went to the grocery today intent on buying some quality food. So I bought greens, some dairy, and lots of fruit and nuts.

I avoided my "trouble aisles" and pretty much anything that wasn't on the perimeter, like all the weight-loss gurus say to do.


And as I was pulling my cart into my friend Marion's check out line, I looked down at my cart, pleased with the plethora of color and health that would soon be filling my fridge and my body.


Then I heard God speak as clearly as I have heard him in months.

"It's all well and good to eat better foods. But if you really want to get healthy, we need to deal with this food addiction you have."



You see, food has been one of my "golden calves" or an idol that takes the place of where Jesus needs to be in my life. Sometimes if I am sad, or afraid, or upset, or missing my mom, or happy, or excited, or nervous, I head to the cupboard or the freezer for the comfort I need instead of opening my Bible, turning on some praise music, or talking to God.

Because of this, my lifestyle is unhealthy and my body, the Temple of the Most High God, scripture says, is not glorifying God. Granted, Jesus tells us it's not what goes in that makes us polluted but what comes out. However, eventually what we put into our minds, bodies, and spirits is going to come out into our lives.

When I did the No Other Gods study last semester with the OCU Women's Bible Study last year, God began showing me that I could no longer go at the pace I was going ministry-wise, pursue my passions, love my family well, and be a good wife and mom someday unless I chose to give up the idol of food in my life.

It's many moons later, and still, That Girl, That Girl two-by-four can barely fit into her pants anymore. Something's gotta give. (Providence girls are hoping it's not the button on my gauchos!)

This has very little to do with outward appearances and much more to do with the state of the heart. God wants a relationship with us no matter what size we are. And I'm convinced that those people I love don't really care what the scale reads as long as I am healthy and happy.

It has more to do with my relationship with Jesus and how I don't want anything, not even a freaking blessed bonbon, getting in the way of knowing Him and He knowing me.

So I am asking you to pray for me, Bloggerotsky. I need the power of Christ to overcome my addiction to food so that God is honored in every single part of who I am, not just the parts that are already surrendered. Right now I am working on developing some good habits, but mostly I will hopefully be using A LOT of prayer and reliance on Jesus. I expect an all-out war from the enemy, so a little battle would be a nice surprise. However, I have allowed the Enemy a stronghold in my life for many years now and it will take lots of work, trial, error, and forgiveness through God's grace to overcome.

I imagine it will also take a few more checkout line conversations between The Big Guy and That Girl.

You Do All Thing Well...

I think God wants me to say to my readers today that He doesn't make mistakes. He doesn't make anything that is sub-par or not as good. He makes nothing He doesn't think is beautiful or creative or unique. He does all things well.

If you are feeling less-than-gorgeous
having a bad hair day
having insecurity issues
feeling ugly or fat
if you glanced in the mirror only to wish you hadn't this morning
if you have bags under your eyes from being up all night with a sick or hungry child
if your hands have dirt underneath them from cleaning house or garden
if those around you have trampled on you by words or actions, leaving you feeling unwanted
if no one has recognized the beauty within you, leaving you doubtful that it exists


Satan would like for you to feel completely defeated today, therefore keeping you from offering the beauty of your life to those around you.


let our very real Enemy be silenced with this:

"You are the one who put me together

inside my mother's body,

and I praise you

because of the wonderful way

you created me.

Everything you do is marvelous!

Of this I have no doubt.

Nothing about me is hidden from you!

I was secretly woven together

deep in the earth below,

but with your own eyes you saw my body being formed.

Even before I was born, you had written in your book

everything I would do.

Psalm 139:13-16, CEV

Read that out loud until you believe it. Let it sink into your spirit.

You are beautiful, my Bloggerotsky!

Father, I pray that you would reveal the beauty you have placed inside each of my readers. Show them that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. We know that you do all things well. Helps us to believe that about ourselves and free us to always look for the beauty in others without envy or jealousy. In the strong name of Jesus, AMEN.

How can God empower you to offer your beauty to the world today without fear of rejection?

Not Me! Monday.

MckMama is teaching all of us in blog world to be brutally honest and live to tell about it.


Here goes:

I would NEVER, ever drive and talk on my cell phone at the same time on a pretty Saturday afternoon.

Furthermore, I would not even DREAM of driving without my hands at ten and two and without constantly glancing behind me in my rearview, up ahead on the road, and in my side mirrors. Another thing I would never do is get so ridiculously lost in conversation with my dear friend that I forget what else I am doing: operating a motor vehicle.


Sheesh. What kind of person do you think I am??


I would never, ever look up and realize that I am headed for the hind end of an Aztec. Since that would NEVER happen, there would be no need for me to lock up my brakes, right?


{Not me, folks. CLEARLY not me.}



Since those things would never happen, you KNOW that I didn't hit that Aztec in the back. I didn't rear-end that Aztec. Never. And I sure didn't hit it very HARD!

I certainly did not see my life flash before me, and of course I didn't cry and shake like a newborn hamster. An elderly gentlemen who did not look like George Burns did not climb out of the car still chewing his cigar (I would have bit it clean in two if I got rear-ended) and tell me, "It's okay, honey. These things happen."

There's no way I would've wrecked my car in front of the new First Federal on the main drag in Washington, and that makes it impossible for me to have stood on the side of the road with snot dripping from my nose and long sleeves on in the blazing heat looking on awkwardly as the cars passed. Bloggerotsky, please. I have way more class than that! And I most certainly did not not take a shower that morning and have nasty hair. Because that would be so gross and awkward. I would have never sweat even more on the side of the road and have my hair go from nasty to nasty and stringy.

There is no chance that the Emergency officials saw EVERYTHING, from lock up to impact, because they would never be showing off their antique fire engine in the bank parking lot.

I certainly did not act like a sixteen-year-old kid, apologizing over and over for my lack of discretion. I am way more mature than that, people.

I didn't call my daddy to come rescue me. He DID NOT take me out to Scoops to make me feel better.

And of course, I didn't total sweet little Darla, who has been with me through thick and thin since 2002. Her hood wasn't partially perpendicular to the car or anything. And it wasn't like a movie at all with the smoke pouring out of her engine.
I wasn't mad at all that my airbag didn't deploy.

I didn't cry a little more when I got to the body shop to see her in such a condition.

I would never not keep fancy clothes at my old homestead in Loogootee for emergency situations. I would never have to go raid Ashley's closet and wear a dress without a girdle of some sort. I was raised right!

I would never be slightly late to my speaking engagement and be totally frazzled. God would certainly never send my friend Colleen there to pray with me and calm me down before speaking to 30+ women.

I would never get in my dad's car and drive all the way to Oakland City only to figure out that my apartment keys were back in Loogootee. I wouldn't drive at 11pm to the Thompson's to sleep on their couch only to discover a horrible accident on Hwy. 61. I did not, of course, wait in my car for over 45 minutes as they brought the heliocopter in to lifelight someone out. I did not start crying all over again and thanking God to be alive.

I did not wear a black dress and weird-looking white shoes with my legs that did not need to be shaved to church and my toenails that did not need to be painted on Sunday because of limited wardrobe choices and limited time.



Because let's face it, my friends. I am soooo not That Girl. Not me!

Check out Carlos Whittaker's celebration of his son Losiah's third birthday. It is hilarious and moving all at once.

Enjoying Where You Are at (on the Way to Where You are Going)

This is a collaborative post. Cue that song from the Wonder Years ("I get by with a little help from my friends... whoa oh oh oh"). Actually just one friend.

Turns out I get by with a lot of help from her. She gave me the title.

Which brings me to tonight's topic.

I live in the home of Randy and Terri, beloved friends who are now family to me and who see me as part of their family as well. I sleep on the most beautiful red couch I have ever seen. By a fireplace (which in truth doesn't do me much good during these summer months--most of you know that I find myself sweating in the most Arctic of conditions) that is most legit. In a house filled with warmth and love and laughter and joy and beauty and a Wii.

I have become a gypsy. A vagabond.

It's so weird. I never once thought that after college I would be gypsying my way through the summer before I became a full-time grad student. But here I am, at the Thompson family home, living in a town I said I would never live in (love makes you do some crazy things--and I'm talking about the love for God and His people--the benefits of living in the town extend much further than being close to Seth (definite bonus, though!). I am close to the people I fellowship with, which is why I love being here.)

So why am I paranoid about where I am headed?

in life.
in ministry.
in relationships.

The wise sage Dr. Seuss knew a few things about this place...

"You can get so confused that you'll start in to race down long wiggled roads
at a break-necking pace and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space, headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.

The Waiting Place...
...for people just waiting. Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come, or a plane to go or the mail to come, or the rain to go or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow or waiting around for a Yes or a No or waiting for their hair to grow. Everyone is just waiting." excerpt from Oh! The Places You'll Go

My mom once told me as we chatted through the night that she felt she wished portions of her life away, waiting on the next thing to come along. For example, when she graduated high school, she couldn't wait to get married so life could "really" start, she said. Then when she was married, she looked forward to having kids so that she could have the American Dream--the picket fence family. Then when my brother was little and later when I was little, she couldn't wait for us to quit running around amok and get potty trained already. The list goes on and on. That is, until she built a viable relationship with Jesus and quit wishing her life away. So her advice to me as cancer ravaged her body and at times her mind, was to avoid wishing this precious gift, this life, this breath, away. We cried and prayed and found ourselves wishing for all the things she had wished away so we could keep enjoying each other's company.

Slowly, I am learning that difficult lesson. God has put me in a place in my life where going forward in some ways is what I would have considered failure to be before. Like not having my own place, for example.
But is it really failing...

• to live in community with people you love because the realization that the blood of Jesus has the capacity to make you one That is more powerful than DNA and public opinion. Don't believe me? Check this out.
• to stay up late with your BFFs and sleep in really late the next morning because you know this is the only time in your life you may have the opportunity without little fingers pulling your eyelids open*
• to be able to serve others and surprise someone with finished dishes or folded laundry because you had no other pressing commitments
• to read every book on your to-read list and never once feel guilty about it
• to swing all afternoon if you darned-well please?
• to sit at Starbucks all afternoon and spend time with the One who knows you best while listening to the same Coldplay song a million times
• to be able to work three walks in one spring because nothing and no one can hold you back?
• to take a trip that's a little unplanned and unstructured and totally irresponsible because there are things to do at home (but you know it will make you a better, happier person full of life and the joy of Christ)
• to have time to cry and pray and seek the Lord with a brother or sister just because you can take time to really get it

If this is failure, I want an F on every report card life ever writes me.

I want to enjoy where I am at on the way to wherever the heck I am going.







*this has happened to me. Hannah was the culprit on that one. I know you are surprised...

There's No Such Thing as a Free Lunch...

...unless you're That Girl.

Because of my own idiocy, I managed to score big at the Golden Arches this morning. I ordered a sweet tea and some food, and proceeded to the last window, not seeing the first one and being used to Bicknell's championship McD's. So I hand the lady my moolah and she got a puzzled look on her face.

"Was no one at the first window?" she asked.
"There was a first window?" I said.
"I'll go back and take care of it," she said.

enter the weird stares of several of "the Ronald's" people while they prepared the food of non-idiot customers who knew there was a first window.

*cue raising of awkward flag.*

One employee came up and asked, "You paid with a card, right?"
Not so much.

After waiting approximately 4-5 minutes (a John Mayer song+ a OneRepublic song) the nicest employee came to me and handed me my money back. She said it was their mistake.

Au contraire.

I wanted to tell her: "Don't you know who I am? I am That Girl and I do stupid/awkward things every day like skip the first window at the Drive Thru. I should pay you extra for putting up with me."

But of course I didn't say that. I'm on a budget, silly. I did say, "Are you sure? I'd be happy to pay." She waved me off and I rode away with my free lunch but lacking most of my dignity. Whatever. Free lunch is FREE lunch.

That Girl triumphs when she does what the econ professors say is impossible... [pumps fists in air]

Words That Describe Me.

Yesterday after church service, Seth and I were dining at the fine establishment known as Cabello's when I asked him a pointed question which was designed to elicit a somewhat hilarious response.


I asked him to describe me in five words.


He looked at me with a stare that said, "Honey, I don't think you want me to do that."

He was prolly right to keep his mouth shut and stay neutral. He actually said, "I don't think I can do that in five words."

fair enough. I don't think I could describe myself in five words.


So I asked Rachel, Kasey, and Jami tonight and as always, hilarity ensued.

Rachel:
"Sassy, classy, and always jazzy." dang, that girl is good.

Jami:
"Delightful, hilarious, mischievous, musical, and lovely."

Kasey:
"Sunshine, authoritative, biznatch (don't get a hemmorhoid, it means business), glowing like a brilliant star."

oh, stop it. (But seriously)

you never know around here.

Lyrics With Lauren: Smooth Stone Edition.

God, I want the rough edges to go away...





River God by nichole nordeman.
from the album Wide Eyed.

Rolling River God
Little Stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through
So I am a stone rough and grainy still
Trying to reconcile this river's chill

But when I close my eyes and feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change and change takes time
And when the sunset comes
my prayer would be just this one
that you might pick me up and notice
that I am just a little smoother in your hand

Sometimes raging wild
sometimes swollen high
never have I known this river dry
The deepest part of you is where I want to stay
and feel the sharpest edges wash away

Dang. Time Flies When You're Having Fun.

I graduate from college one month from tomorrow.

Whew. Scary.

Where the heck did these four years go?

I'll tell ya. I spent my last four years laughing, crying, building the most solid relationships of my life, and learning to love Jesus more. I feel like my time at OCU has shaped my faith journey in so many ways.

(is there an age limit on nostalgia? hope not.)

God has used this faith community to change my life and make me fall more in love with Him. Right now it's bittersweet to imagine packing up my stuff and walking out of dorm life forever. But hopefully on to something different...something new...something beautiful.

I praise God for this place and all that I've learned here.

That Girl...

rarely gets it right.


my friend Joe (click on today's blog title to check out his stuff...) wrote a song once, and this was the hook for it:
"If you want to know how much I think of my mistakes/
When it's quiet and when I am awake."


Silly me. When will I learn how to deal with everything gently and with grace, instead of dealing with it like a trucker that drives into the local Mikasa?
(or, as my mama used to say, "Laur, you are like a bull in a china shop." sad but true.)

"when it's quiet," and I survey the damage, I wonder if my trip to Mikasa was really worth it or not.


to all of my dear, Good Blog Readers: please, please, please be patient. "That girl..." is a work in progress. I need that "Caution" tape around me wherever I go to let people know that I am dangerous and wreak havoc on a lot of beautiful things.

Bebo says it best:

"every single heart that I have held/in my hands/in my clumsy hands/I fumbled them around until they fell/It's much safer ground/just keeping to myself/but I will wait for tomorrow..."


but community is funny like that in that hopefully, they see through the messes I make to someone who desires to be fully alive and has the capacity to love with abandon.

and they ignore the caution tape.

psalm 51:6.

Here it is...

I haven't read many blog perspectives that come from women my age in my position in life. (Perhaps they spend their time more wisely...?) In reality, I haven't seen all that many blogs written by young women.

So I decided to start one.

In all honesty, I have tried this before. And no, I won't give you the link. Those who put up with my childish first attempt at blogging and come back to read this one anyway get Kudos from me for trying it again. I digress.
'
Perhaps I call the blog "That Girl" for many reasons. I am "That Girl" who often needs no introduction. For those of you who think I just gave myself mad props, think again.

"That Girl" is the one who walks into the room and falls down, who always says the wrong things at the wrong time, who desires a simple life but finds a way to make it more complicated, who occasionally longs to be the one who has it all together, but who often falls miserably short.

But above all, I am "That Girl," the one who is passionately pursued by the Creator of the Universe and who desires to love Him and His creation the way He loves her. And that's a label I am fine with.