For This Reason.

Hello Friends!

I want to welcome you if you came over to visit from Bring the Rain. I wish I had a fruit basket for each of you.

Edible Arrangement, anyone?

I am deeply honored and humbled that Angie decided to share about my mom, Cheryl. Here are some stories and different things I have learned through my journey-first with her, and then without her. Jesus has made that journey with me, and I pray that you'll know how I feel about Him.

I am 23, and I have a knack for giving awkward a capital "A" and if you promise not to laugh at me too much, you can read about those here.

Fell free to pull up a seat and stay a while. I'd love to hear your story and get to know you. Most of all, I want you to know that I prayed for YOU! This morning I got up and asked God to use my story to help you and encourage you through whatever your journey looks like today. I thanked God for you and told Him that He is most worthy to receive praise and honor because of the way He weaves together the intricacies of our lives.

For this reason I got on my knees early this morning.

I hope you'll stay and get comfy! I want to know what God is doing in your life too...

God loves you, and I do too. I am totally grateful to Angie for introducing us. Now I want to know your name.

Can we be friends?

...because most of us are already sisters in the Family of God. I encourage you to join in on that. He really is the best Father, and I hope by getting to know me, you'll be introduced to Him through my inadequate words.

It is for this reason that I bow my knees before Him and thank Him for you, dear friends.

Finally a Whisper.

So this weekend, I served with an incredible group of people to bring over 40 women a little closer to the knowledge of God's love for them. I did come expecting Jesus, but not in the way that He spoke.


Sometimes it's hard for me when I see young women and their moms hanging out together, or shopping, or sipping lattes at Starbucks. It's obviously a beautiful thing to see mothers and daughters connecting in healthy relationships, but I would be lying if I said my heart didn't break all over again for the sadness I feel to never have that again. Sure, I have LOTS of women who love me, speak over my life, pray for me, minister to my heart, and challenge me to be more like Jesus. God saw to it that I will always have some mamas-in-heart ready and willing to take care of me when this 23-year-old kid gets overwhelmed by ministry, relationships, or life in general. I do not take that lightly and thank Him every day for providing in such special ways.

it's still hard. The pain is still there--I have moments. As my friend (and one of my most precious "mamas") Kathy said, "We don't fall apart [as believers in Christ]. We have moments."

Well, Bloggerotsky, I still have my moments. As well as my friends Jan and Janet and Abby and Chelsa and Ali and Annie and Shellie and Janelle and lots of others who have lost someone they loved.


This weekend, I was reminded that God is in the details. If you want to debate that, it's a truth for which I will go to the mat. Let me demonstrate:


Jeremiah 33:3 was a verse that my mom discovered late in her battle with cancer. God spoke to her through that verse and she shared with everyone that "God has secrets, you know!" with her sweet little eyebrow-raising wink and a smile. That was the truth that got her through some really hard days--the truth that God had secrets that she searched out---secrets that we don't know unless we go searching for them...


Around that same time, the scripture from I Kings 19 really spoke to me--about how the Lord was not in the earthquake, or the fire, or the wind. Instead, He made Himself known in the gentle whisper or, as some scholars translate it, the sound of sheer silence.

One day, as that scripture was still turning over and over in my mind, feeding me and ministering to me about my future, my mom's health, my college career, and all the things through which I was straining to hear his voice, I passed by our rack of little cards in our family's Christian Bookstore. I saw this one that caught my eye--it was bright purple and had these callalillies (normally I can't stand callas but this one time... hee hee) on it. I took the card and laid it on the counter where I would see it often. I kept thinking, "Lord, I know you are speaking comfort in a whisper--so I have to be quiet to hear it.


Little did I know that He would speak in a whisper a year and a half later.


This weekend, I opened this sweet card from my mama's BFF, Julie, who now runs and manages our store as well as taking care of my dad and me (she helps me to remember important things and I can ask her for help with anything--including accompaniment to my Lady Doctor appointments...she's another "mama" for sure). Inside was a cute little paperweight that said 'BELIEVE' which was my mom's favorite word. Inside was also what is now one of my most treasured possessions.


It was a sticky note in my mom's handwriting stuck to the card I told you about.

It said:

Jeremiah 33v3
secrets


WHAT ARE THE ODDS?

don't tell me He is not interested in what I call details ministry.


A gentle whisper from the heart of Father to a daughter. A daughter who sometimes doesn't understand but tries to trust that heart. A daughter who misses the mother she lost. A daughter who sometimes has to strain to hear that oh-so gentle whisper.


I continue to see the facet of the character of God that proves the Holy Spirit is a comforter. If you need comfort today, listen to that gentle whisper, or that sound of sheer silence, and know that this One we serve, this Master to whom we bow, has secrets He longs to show you. Secrets of His power, His might, and His love. Secrets that only YOU AND HE UNDERSTAND.


Julie didn't know about the card--she just thought I could use a little piece of my mom's memory--but God did know. He did see me fall in love with that I Kings passage that day and He sees our needs right here as I type.

I know He is only a breath, a whisper, away from all of us this day. Won't you ask Him to whisper His secrets in your ear?

Making Friends in the Dressing Room.

I am a firm believer that retail therapy is better (although not cheaper) than regular therapy. I had been having a rough few days, and it's Spring Break, so after work I rolled down the windows, turned up the iPod, and headed to Evansville for some shopping at the mall.

What I got was a lifelong friendship. You see, for years I have been shopping at the fabulous Lane Bryant because of their fashionable selection for the thick girls. In that time, I have made friends with one of the employees.

{It's amazing what happens when you let another person fit you for a new (ahem) undergarment. A level of closeness is attained.}


Anyway, back to the story. That's how I met my friend Paris. If any of you shop at Lane Bryant, you know her for her love of all things fashion and her incredible servanthood (hence the undergarment fitting). I trust Paris with my (style) life and I know she is gonna say, "Girl, that do NOT look good on you...Put it right back on that hanger where it belongs." God bless her. She loves Jesus and rhinestones and in my completely professional opinion, that is the greatest combination.

So Paris and I are doing our thing when Paris's friend stops by to shop. We end up in the dressing rooms next to each other, and I liked her already before I officially met her because she was like me and her voice carried across the store.

Girls that shop in Lane Bryant, from That Girl's experience, have two volumes: loud and louder.

So my dressing room neighbor was discussing her search for an outfit to wear to a wedding and a couple of things she said almost made me laugh out loud.

"Girl, ya gotta do what ya gotta do..."
well, it was like my clone, my-we-were-twins-separated-at-birth moment. The only way to deny it was our diferences in skin pigment. She was my sista from another mista, or as Beth Moore would say, she is my siesta from another miesta. I had just gotten outfit number 2 on and emerged from the dressing room to find my long lost BFF, and found that she indeed was wearing a beautiful purple shirt with some killer white pants.


and I couldn't help it.

I said, "You look beautiful."


Then I quickly realized I had butted into a stranger's Clinton and Stacey moment with Paris and I slapped my hand over my mouth.

"Umm, not that my opinion matters or anything," I said as I turned to tuck tail and flee into the safe confine of my dressing room.
I remembered that she had no idea she was my sista from another mista.

awkward.


As I turned to run as fast as those linen pants would carry me, she said the sweetest thing...

"Honey, of course your opinion matters. Now tell me what you think..."

i fell in love at that moment. Paris nodded knowingly as if she had witnessed our fashion love connection.

"Well, since you are wearing purple on the top, it would be great to connect it with some pointy stilettos down at the bottom to bring it all together." I said, and then waited with baited breath for her reaction.


She looked at me for what seemed like an eternity. All I could think of was since my thighs rub together I hope these linen pants don't catch on fire.

Her face broke out into a huge smile and she said, "SHUT UP! Shut up shut up shut up!! Guess what, honey? I have a purple pair of pointy shoes waiting on me at home!"



I promise you that I did indeed jump up and down (which was really awkward to see in that mirror by the way), as did she, rejoicing over the way God and Lane Bryant had brought us together. Fashion Soulmates!

She loved her some Jesus, too. Her name was Paula, and she and I talked about everything from tithing to Chris and Rihanna ("The only thing Oprah's said that I have agreed with in the past five years," I said.) to which earrings her outfit needed. Paris watched like a proud mama.

And turns out, Paula used to work at Lane Bryant, too. How did we miss each other? Paula's been married for 20 years and she said, "Honey if he don't know me by now he ain't never gonna know me," as she discussed her Lane Bryant spending habits.


You know, on my way over to Evansville I was a little bit sad, because Jami couldn't come with me and Terri couldn't come with me and while I enjoy shopping by myself, it proves difficult to make fashion decisions without someone as gut-level honest as my mom was.


-----She used to always say, "You look poured into that." I never knew for LIKE, YEARS, what that meant exactly. Praise God I looked into the mirror one day after she passed and thought, "I look like someone poured me into this...OH, wait, THAT's what it meant..."-----

He is a provider, even in the dressing room of the Thick Girl store, where I found that kinship, that gut-level honesty that I so longed for.


Make a friend, be a friend, shop with a friend at Lane Bryant, and love Jesus together!


but don't forget the purple stilettos.

Why I love OCU.

One of the many reasons:

I was sick yesterday and had to go home early, where I tossed and turned, had fever, chills, and body aches along with a headache and a hacking cough.

I got up this morning and needed to come to work because Candace (The admin. asst) was out with her little one, Calleigh, who was feeling badly too. I didn't look, feel, or sound good. As the students came by, they all noticed that I was sick the day before and asked me if I was feeling better and if there was anything they could do.

One of my RAs brought in some cough medicine. Several came by to visit to cheer me up. Another student brought me two cans of chicken noodle soup.


I think it's God's grace and the feeling of family we have at this sweet little place. We are brothers and sisters, and we take care of each other. We belong in the same family, and so we help each other.

Being 'babied' by my sweet friends today was so nice and made me feel so loved!!

Thank you Jesus.

YAY!

Baby Eli passed his court date--let's pray him here quickly. I am absolutely beside myself waiting to hold this handsome little chubby-cheeked wonder!


go show sweet Kristi and Josh your love and support as they prepare to travel to see their beloved third child...


gosh he is cute. Now get to praying so he can get to Indiana and I can hold him soon!!

love you, Ausbrooks family!

The Laundry Room: Follow Up.

Can I just say that I adore the ladies of Providence Mennonite Church. They were incredibly hospitable to myself as well the 100+ women who attended Ladies' Day. They made everything look beautiful and the food was AWESOME. I think that most of the women who came felt loved by God because of the way that he girls in charge handled even the details with excellence!

I also had the great joy of hearing Jamie Miller's awesome testimony...If you are struggling with issues in your marriage, know that God HEARS your prayer and is acting on your behalf! He has saved Jamie's marriage and it's a beautiful story. You alone, Oh Lord, could do something of that magnitude. It's a Sun Stand Still kind of story.

I had a great time...It was great to be back home--and it was great to hear from several women that they had been reading the blog. It is really encouraging to hear that these thoughts are ministering to so many--some I didn't even know. If you read this blog and you ever want to comment, please visit this post to learn how. We would love to hear from you.

I am really excited about what God is doing at Providence--through Pastor Shawn and Greta's and Chris and Rose's efforts, discipleship is happening like crazy and I know God is using this church as a beacon of light for those who are desperate for Jesus.

I love you all. Let's do it again sometime!

As for my speaking schedule, I will update so all of you can be praying. I am speaking tonight at OCU, and I have a meeting this week for a speaking engagement in the spring, so I covet your plans as I work with Sherri Horton and Carol Singlestad to plan Mt. Lebanon (French Lick) UMC's women's conference in the spring--more info to come!


I love that Jesus can redeem people like me--awkward, clumsy and inadequate--and then let them speak to His people on His behalf. Lord, I never ever want to take that precious truth for granted!


Also, I need to let you know that Saturday afternoon, my button finally came off once and for all. I guess God was reminding me that we had a date in the sewing room, and if I keep skipping those dates, I won't be able to "hold it together" anymore--in more ways than one!!



Thanks for a great day, girls.

Good Morning.

I was going about my morning business and received an unexpected blessing this morning.
My friend Matt, who is the Ministry Director at Crossroads, sent me a text message.


There is no greater fellowship than the fellowship of sufferings. I know that it's easy to fellowship in someone's joy. It takes MORE LOVE to fellowship in sorrow.


He remembered that next Sunday I will have an anniversary filled with sorrow. Didn't make it a big deal, but remembered that what carried me through is that it may be dark, but my God is light.

So he texted me this verse:

"Light is shed on the righteous and joy on the upright in heart." Psalm 97:11

Thanks, Matt. For sharing in this unpleasant fellowship of sorrow. It's nice to know I don't have to bear the weight alone.

Help carry somebody's load today.


Anybody carried yours lately?

Nicole Saves the Day.

Roommates are awesome!

Unless you have a sucky one. (sorry 'boutcha if that's the case.) But not me!! I have a lovely roommate-a princess of epic proportions.

You see, I was having a really bad day at work and in general and I was upset and hating life at lunchtime.

dah duh duh dah...

NICOLE SAVES THE DAY!

Nicole then announces that my bad day is worthy of getting to open my birthday present early.

That perked me right up.

Why?

Nicole bought me almost every type of Sharpie on the market and put them all in a box. I had been borrowing hers for a while and been dreaming of having a collection--especially of the fine tips for scrapping and such. She went hog wild and even got me the limited edition colors.

I threw them up in the air continually like if one had a bucket of rose petals.

It's the littlest things.

Thanks Nicole!

Somewhere, Ben McVay is giving thanks.

Because I can now receive all those obnoxious pictures he takes of me when I get fired up about something in Seth's office...

Today I got a new phone courtesy of my brudder and his lovely family.

It is really delightful--the nicest phone I've ever had!

I am very thankful for it.

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