Thursday, March 26, 2009

Finally a Whisper.

So this weekend, I served with an incredible group of people to bring over 40 women a little closer to the knowledge of God's love for them. I did come expecting Jesus, but not in the way that He spoke.

Sometimes it's hard for me when I see young women and their moms hanging out together, or shopping, or sipping lattes at Starbucks. It's obviously a beautiful thing to see mothers and daughters connecting in healthy relationships, but I would be lying if I said my heart didn't break all over again for the sadness I feel to never have that again. Sure, I have LOTS of women who love me, speak over my life, pray for me, minister to my heart, and challenge me to be more like Jesus. God saw to it that I will always have some mamas-in-heart ready and willing to take care of me when this 23-year-old kid gets overwhelmed by ministry, relationships, or life in general. I do not take that lightly and thank Him every day for providing in such special ways.

it's still hard. The pain is still there--I have moments. As my friend (and one of my most precious "mamas") Kathy said, "We don't fall apart [as believers in Christ]. We have moments."

Well, Bloggerotsky, I still have my moments. As well as my friends Jan and Janet and Abby and Chelsa and Ali and Annie and Shellie and Janelle and lots of others who have lost someone they loved.

This weekend, I was reminded that God is in the details. If you want to debate that, it's a truth for which I will go to the mat. Let me demonstrate:

Jeremiah 33:3 was a verse that my mom discovered late in her battle with cancer. God spoke to her through that verse and she shared with everyone that "God has secrets, you know!" with her sweet little eyebrow-raising wink and a smile. That was the truth that got her through some really hard days--the truth that God had secrets that she searched out---secrets that we don't know unless we go searching for them...

Around that same time, the scripture from I Kings 19 really spoke to me--about how the Lord was not in the earthquake, or the fire, or the wind. Instead, He made Himself known in the gentle whisper or, as some scholars translate it, the sound of sheer silence.

One day, as that scripture was still turning over and over in my mind, feeding me and ministering to me about my future, my mom's health, my college career, and all the things through which I was straining to hear his voice, I passed by our rack of little cards in our family's Christian Bookstore. I saw this one that caught my eye--it was bright purple and had these callalillies (normally I can't stand callas but this one time... hee hee) on it. I took the card and laid it on the counter where I would see it often. I kept thinking, "Lord, I know you are speaking comfort in a whisper--so I have to be quiet to hear it.

Little did I know that He would speak in a whisper a year and a half later.

This weekend, I opened this sweet card from my mama's BFF, Julie, who now runs and manages our store as well as taking care of my dad and me (she helps me to remember important things and I can ask her for help with anything--including accompaniment to my Lady Doctor appointments...she's another "mama" for sure). Inside was a cute little paperweight that said 'BELIEVE' which was my mom's favorite word. Inside was also what is now one of my most treasured possessions.

It was a sticky note in my mom's handwriting stuck to the card I told you about.

It said:

Jeremiah 33v3


don't tell me He is not interested in what I call details ministry.

A gentle whisper from the heart of Father to a daughter. A daughter who sometimes doesn't understand but tries to trust that heart. A daughter who misses the mother she lost. A daughter who sometimes has to strain to hear that oh-so gentle whisper.

I continue to see the facet of the character of God that proves the Holy Spirit is a comforter. If you need comfort today, listen to that gentle whisper, or that sound of sheer silence, and know that this One we serve, this Master to whom we bow, has secrets He longs to show you. Secrets of His power, His might, and His love. Secrets that only YOU AND HE UNDERSTAND.

Julie didn't know about the card--she just thought I could use a little piece of my mom's memory--but God did know. He did see me fall in love with that I Kings passage that day and He sees our needs right here as I type.

I know He is only a breath, a whisper, away from all of us this day. Won't you ask Him to whisper His secrets in your ear?


Leah Robinson said...

Oh Lauren, that gives me chills :)

I love when God does things like happened to me on my walk!

You are in my prayers sweetie!!

Jessie, Dusty, and Koen said...

You are SUCH an inspiration...I get so much just from reading your blog. Keep posting, you're touching many lives:)I'll be praying for you..

Brittany said...

Wow! Great story! God is good!

Tami said...

Laur, this is one of your best blogs. God does come to us in the silence and He whispers in our ears that He is always there and that brings us great peace and comfort. Just know that I love ya girl and you've got a friend.


Keyly Watts said...

Great post Lauren !!! You beautiful masterpiece you. I love ya pal and have a great weekend.