Thursday, October 22, 2009

The One Where The Dog Strikes Again....

Okay, so Riley 'Cujo' Thompson has once again earned her nickname. Here I am, sitting in the sunroom at the Thompson family abode, minding my own and chatting on facebook.

Let's not talk about how much I despise facebook chat. You'd think with all that money, Marky Mark Z would do some work on that. But that's another blog.

Anyway, you may remember Riley the St. Bernard and her torturous tendencies that fateful night. Well, she must've heard it through the grapevine that I been puttin' her business out there on the internets, as BooMama calls it, and she is channeling Twisted Sister with her "we're not gonna take it" attitude.

Here I am, sweet as pie, chatting and talking and shooting Le Breeze when all of a sudden I hear this horrific noise that sounds like a mixture of badness from Friday the 13th and the Halloween movies. You know, like the scene when Freddy Krueger or Jason with the creepy mask is trying desperately to break into the place to maim and/or destroy the innocent victims?

Not that I watch those kinds of movies.

So I turn around after I pee in my pants just a little bit from complete and utter fear. Now let me stop here and evaluate what I just wrote. Instead of fleeing for my life, I turn around like a total and complete nincompoop. Who does that? Apparently yours truly, That Girl who gets killed off first because she isn't so bright. Just give me a container of Jiffy Pop and a blonde wig and you have yourself the first victim.

So I turn around expecting to see a chainsaw glittering with red blood and a man with

a) scary mask

b) scary mask that is actually designed to look like a disfigured face*

*shudders again

Instead, who is it but Riley 'Cujo' Thompson, on her hind legs punding the glass with her two front paws, looking like a full grown person?

How ironic that it would be a character from a Stephen King novel.

She was menacing. It was almost as if she was saying with her big chocolate brown eyes, "IF you don't play with me we will be reenacting the scene where the guy's in the car and Cujo climbs on the roof..."

I thought she was going to come through the window. It was frightening. After my heart rate returned from the brink, I was able to regain composure, and then (silly me!), I actually had compassion on the blessed creature.

I tried to play with her for a second. But as she rammed her 65 LB body into me repeatedly, it wasn't very fun at all. My bruises cry out for vengeance but God demands that I turn the other cheek. So as I threw her chew toy out into the black oblivion of night and quickly ran inside, I didn't even feel a twinge of satisfaction for distracting her so I could return safely into the sunroom.

But Riley has the last laugh as the evil hound left her wet dog stench on my PJs so now I will be stuck with her for the rest of the night, whether she keeps me up with her incessant howling or not.

Grrrrr. :D


Amber Schmidt said...

It was one of those moments when you are watching a scary movie and you are thinking "RUN AWAY!!!.. why don't you RUN AWAY??"

I detest scary movies...