That Girl Moment: #975: Altar Call Gone Wrong.

Many of you know I preached on Monday night because you bombarded Heaven with your prayers and I am so grateful for that. It went well, only because God was in charge of the whole thing and not That Girl standing up there speaking.

I know God was in charge because the message went out in spite of my thick tongue and ample mistakes.

Like at one point when I referred to Timothy as Tiffany.

I Think We're Alone Now. Because everyone just got up and walked out.

I'm just kidding. They didn't get up and walk out. God's Word went forth with power. In spite of ME.

This was no more clear than after the altar call. The invitation that I wrecked. The Holy moment on which my clumsiness intruded.

I felt the presence of the Lord as I instructed those gathered at the church to think about what God said to them and respond. I gave them a few suggestions and questions to ponder. Then I went to move the music stand.

And it went downhill from there like the Pilgrims' Plunge.

I picked up the music stand.

Let me stop here and explain to you that I LOVE.MY.BIBLE. It's a New Oxford Annotated, and it has lots of notes in the side from my professors, my pastor boyfriend, and pretty much anyone under whose teaching I have ever sat. If something happened to it, I would be distraught. If someone stole it I would hit 'em up style probably with the blessing of Jesus himself. All that being said, this B-I-B-L-E has seen some better days. It has lots of letters and notecards and church bulletins and all kinds of things in it and if you shook it you would think you busted open a little pinata of paper. Little notes, ten cent cards, sweet mementos and lots of other associated things collect in my Bible almost like they did in my old car Darla.

So, imagine my horror when after a stirring invitation to respond to the love of Jesus that casts out all fear, I moved the music stand upon which my Bible rested, and it

fell to the floor.


You would have thought a tiny paper factory blew up.


All my stuff fell out and scattered the ground and a massive cringe was felt 'round the world. I tried to kneel gracefully in order to collect my things as I felt bad for the people in the pew who were embarrassed and feeling bad for me. Plus, forget the questions I had asked. All anyone could think was how did all that paper come out of that Bible?



The cover actually FELL OFF. Like, for good. I am trying to decide whether to get out the duct tape or to get it rebound courtesy of Blessings, my family's Christian bookstore.


I know that message wasn't me because people still responded to the Gospel even after I made a total spectacle of myself.

As my friend Rita would say, "Well, praise the Lord anyhow."