National Foster Care Month: 10 Ways Series.

{It's National Foster Care Month, so I will be sharing a series of posts during May with the hope of bringing these beautiful children to the attention of the Church, to join in the national foster care conversation as well as suggesting ways to get involved, stories that inspire, God's provision for foster families, and challenges to get involved.

Would you STAND UP with us to make a difference?}

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"You have one of the hardest jobs in the world," I often tell the folks at DCS (Department of Child Services). Our adventures in Foster Care have revealed no small amount of misunderstanding in regard to public opinion.  It is admittedly difficult to parent in general, and parenting while others watch closely is an even greater challenge.  Foster parents everywhere have love/hate relationships with DCS offices, and we have found all manner of people who seem to have the wrong idea concerning the purpose and role of DCS in each county.  I want to make it clear that I write from a positive perspective because those from DCS with whom we have interacted have been incredibly helpful, gracious, and supportive.  They work hard and are tireless in their approach to the job.  They are overworked and underpaid, and the Family Case Managers we know are in it for the kids. 

I realize that not everyone has had this experience, and so as I write tonight, I pray -- that my words are adequately explaining our desire as a family to bring the love of Christ into the foster system and ministering to EVERYONE involved because the children are the ones who benefit when we love their advocates well -- for my dear readers who feel broken or disappointed by a system and for the children who are living with decisions that adults made for them -- most of all, I pray that grace drips from every word.  Foster children matter to God, and the people who care for them also matter to God.  

Are there some bad apples, meaning people who have not acted with the utmost professionalism and care toward the children in their charge? Sadly, yes. Are there some who have agendas and make poor choices that reflect on all DCS employees? Yes. It happens in every profession, and it is incredibly disconcerting for those who pour their lives investing in the well-being of children here in the US. I am personally honored to know several incredible Family Case Managers and people in administrative roles at our local DCS. We have been encouraged by the amount of contact and care they have shown, not just to our three children but to all five of us.

I've compiled a list of ways for believers to engage in ministry toward those whose job is to speak up for those who can't speak up for themselves. DCS caseworkers are just like everybody else...they do their best work when people believe in them and encourage them. As you have probably figured out, it is a great desire of mine for this blog to become a place where my readers are motivated to action somewhere in the foster care scene. Maybe encouraging a caseworker that you know (or an office-full that you don't know) might be the way that you or your church chooses to make a difference.  These are suggestions that individuals, families, and churches can take to let DCS know that they care about the caseworkers and the children! These are just a few ideas, and I will be sharing more for the remainder of the month involving different aspects of foster care. Whatever you do, don't forget the thousands of children who desperately need us to stand up for them.

1.  Pray for them.  

DCS Family Case Managers have incredibly difficult challenges at work in many respects.  Every day they witness and read case files about what we call our worst nightmares.  Some of them go home to children of their own every night and relive the day over again.  It is a heartbreaking job.  The turnover rate is high.  The hours are long.  It can be scary and many of the sweetest caseworkers you will ever meet have a long list of those who have threatened them.  If you care about foster kids, you need to pray for these people to have wisdom and revelation, a heart of compassion, righteous judgment, and a will to keep on when it's frustrating.  We owe it to the children to pray for those who speak up for them!

2.  Take them treats.  

Unfortunately, caseworkers' days are often filled with some of the ugliest things humanity can dream up.  They don't have a lot to make them smile at work.  My sweet Heather and I took the folks at DCS a box full of treats today accompanied by a greeting card to say "thank you" for doing their best.  The more encouraged and appreciated they are, the more fervor and desire they will have to serve your county's children.  This would be an incredible outreach of your church - wouldn't it be amazing if a caseworker came to know Christ because of a church's kindness and it changed the way he or she did the job?! 

 3.  Understand their position.

This is absolutely key if you are going to be successful in ministering and encouraging those at DCS.  THEY DON'T MAKE THE LAWS and often, they are twice as frustrated with those laws as the people who speak poorly of them and judge them!  Their responsibility is to apply the law...not to write it like a lawmaker or interpret it like a judge.  Keep this in mind and remember that it may break the caseworker's heart to carry out his or her job from time to time.  If you don't like the laws, contact the ones who make them!  

4.  Support DCS workers that worship at your church.

Let them know you are proud of them for living out the commands of scripture to care for orphans in distress and for doing what they can to make a difference in a really hard profession.

5.  Watch how you speak about their clients.

Don't refer to biological parents by "trashy" or "worthless" or other heartless names.  We are all human and we each bear the image of God.  Keep in mind that some caseworkers struggle to see their clients as people for which Jesus died and it makes it even more difficult when you use hateful words or tones.  On a personal note, our family believes in redemption for all involved in the foster care system, and although I don't like everything they did, I am truly thankful to my children's biological parents for choosing life.  I got this tip from a caseworker friend of mine and I thought it was a great one. 

6.  When in doubt, make the call.

It takes a whole community to prevent child abuse and neglect.  Exploitation of innocents is happening where you live, so keep your eyes and ears open.  DCS investigates claims of abuse or neglect, and they need your help to keep children in environments that are healthy and happy.  Please report it.  You can make your city safer for kids by standing up against injustice.

7.  Become a CASA.  

It becomes so much easier to advocate for children when more people join the cause.  If you feel passionate about foster care, but aren't in the place to foster currently, I encourage you to look into this opportunity.  CASAs help make decisions for children and are a neutral voice in the matters concerning them.  Help DCS do what's best for the children by getting involved in the process.  

8.  Talk to your legislators.

Encourage local lawmakers to sit down with local DCS offices and foster parents to ask about what's working and what isn't.  It's good for our legislature to hear how things are going and how they might be improved from people who are actually responsible for making sure they are carried out.  Furthermore, elect people who care about the plight of foster children and let them know that this issue matters to you! 

9.  Remember.

When you hear a negative story and you get frustrated (as I have) regarding some Family Case Manager who was derelict in his or her duty and failed a child, I want you to remember that for every terrible story, there are literally thousands of caseworkers who love and serve every single child in their caseloads....and their stories never get published.  Every single call after hours for an ER run, or a night where no one slept and we needed a pep talk to keep going, and a visit and gifts for each of our children's birthdays...no one ever talks about that.  Let's remember the good stories and encourage the ones providing them!

10.  Find out a need -- and then meet it.

When I was at the Knox County DCS office today, our caseworker showed us that they had done a makeover on the two small rooms in which the children have visits.  A fresh coat of paint, some encouraging wall words, and new toys filled the rooms and made them much more cheery than that which we experienced when our children had visits.  God prompted me as I saw the changes.  Could we as a family could have helped with this project?  Could our church have offered some assistance in the form of new toys or games?  It's too late to help with that, but there are many needs that can still be met.  It's the job of the Body of Christ to do everything we can to provide for the welfare of orphans and defenseless children, and a safe place to do family visits is one of those unique ways. There has never been a better time to step up to the plate than National Foster Care Month!  

I know that not everyone has had the positive experiences with DCS about which I've written.  I think it's important once again to note that every single person you know benefits from the act of encouragement.  Managing a caseload at DCS takes a lot of courage, so this is an invitation to the ones called by Christ to be His hands and feet in the middle of red tape, hard decisions, and a lot of bureaucracy.  I have to believe that God can use us in many ways to bring hope to broken and jaded people who have seen the worst humanity has to offer.  Let's be Jesus to them and show them the best God has to offer!

Sponsoring Hope.

A couple of years ago, BFF Jami and I found ourselves staring at a table full of faces. We were working summer camp at Crossroads, who had a strong relationship with an organization called New Missions. I had approached Jami to consider sponsorship with me and for a week we prayed about it separately.

Isn't it funny that we had to pray about it? I mean, after all as Francis Chan says, "Did God tell you to watch TV last night?"


ahem.



So the Table. The Table full of little faces. Some smiling, some looking cute, some royally ticked off because they had to get a picture made. Some whose eyes felt like they were boring a hole through my soul.

As we scanned the Table, it became clear to me in a hurry which little one would be ours. It was a little girl with about fifty baby barrettes in her hair, and they were all neon colored. She had dark brown eyes and she was not smiling. In fact, maybe it was my imagination but she looked like she had a little attitude.


Come to mama!



Without saying a word, a moment later Jami picked up the photo of the little girl with the massive amounts of barrettes. She scanned her profile and said, "Her name is SARAH."

Jami knew that I love the name Sarah because it means Princess. I always call my nieces Princess and I had always wanted to name a daughter that, but it's so popular in the US that I didn't want her to be one of forty Sarahs in her school or something. So the fact that this little one's name was Sarah was complete confirmation!

Her full name is Sarah Prosper. She was four years old when we picked up that photo.


I have never once regretted that decision.

We started corresponding with Sarah and sending her pictures and other things. Our lives have never been the same.


About a year after we started sponsoring Sarah, I had the privilege of going to New Missions to see the ministry firsthand and to spend a week with the Haitian people. I was scheduled to meet Sarah and her mom on Thursday, but God had other plans. People had been fasting and praying for me daily on the trip, and the biggest blessing would come on Wednesday of that week.

My journal:

We came back and had an opportunity to purchase good from the local Haitians. This was partly frustrating because we could not give everyone business and some of them were pretty aggressive.
But then, the coolest part of the whole trip came. I walked toward one of the shops and almost ran into someone as I was looking down and walking (not a good plan) around to find Seth a nativity. I looked up at the man with whom I had collided and immediately began to apologize in the most broken form of Creole ever heard.
He looked at me for a minute.
Then he said, "You have child?"

People, I am a slightly rotund individual, but even I had not had that many bowls of beans and rice.

Trying not to become offended, I was thinking in my head, "Was that a Haitian fat joke?"
Finally I shook my head no. He then said,

"No. You have Haitian child. Sarah."

It took me a second for it all to come together.

"Yes!" I said. "How did you know?"


He responded, "Sarah is my sister. There she is, right over there."

Perched on the wall separating New Missions from the Village of Bord Mer was my little princess, wearing a bathing suit and nothing else. Her brother's name was Charles, and he had recognized me from the picture we sent. What are the odds?

But then again, why am I surprised?


I promised to take Sarah to the clinic later that day due to a skin problem she had (NM covers all healthcare procedures) and I kissed her and told her I would see her then.

So I thought!
We went to a church service and Scott (team leader) tapped me on the shoulder. "Is that Sarah?" He asked.

Sure enough, it was. So I got her and took her to sit with me. As we stood and sang Trading My Sorrows, and as Sarah clung to me like a koala and would not let me put her down, tears of joy rained down my face at God's amazing blessings and His extra grace to give me the chance to meet Sarah and spend extra time with her.

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Through my experiences with Sarah, I have learned how amazing it is to sponsor a child. So when my friend Nicole decided to go on the World Race for a year, I wanted to contribute to her mission trip. We were discussing how I could do that, and then I remembered Jose.


Nicole has been sponsoring a little boy from Nicaragua named Jose through Compassion International for a few years now. In our apartment, his picture hung and we spent time praying for our sponsored kids (although not nearly enough!). I saw his sweet face daily and I knew that as Nicole was working hard to raise funds so that she could meet the needs of people all over the world who are just like Jose, someone had to be this little boy's sponsor for a year to free up Nicole's finances. Just for this year, i get the honor of meeting Jose's needs.

Now Nicole is heading to Nicaragua tomorrow on a 17-hour bus ride. She will be spending a month there Would you join me in prayer that Nicole will have the same experience as I did? Please pray that somehow, God would work a miracle and she would get to meet Jose!



Also, I would like to ask you to consider getting involved with child sponsorship. For just a few dollars a day, you can have the blessing of reaching a child with the love of Jesus Christ. With a little sarificial giving, you can sponsor HOPE in a child's life. If you have children, it's a great project to help the understand God's love for the nations and to teach them about giving.

One more thing, some Compassion Bloggers are set to hit El Salvador in the next few days. They will be blogging their experiences and I encourage you to take time to read their stories.



For your comment consideration:
How are you reaching out?
If you're not, how are you going to?



What if we?

Guest Blog//What If We....(please read)

My friend Cody spent a year in Ch*na working as an official teacher and a covert missionary to college students. I heard him share this story


and I can NEVER, ever be the same.


This story begs the question:



Cody's Story....
I would like to tell you a story of what I experienced while being a missionary to Ch*na. I had been in the city of Guanghzou for my first two months working with the underground Church. Everything seemed to be going great until one week God totally flipped my world upside down.

I always noticed a homeless beggar that sat on a sidewalk. What was really interesting about this man is that he would only come out at night. He was almost ashamed of being seen in his state during the day. So one night on my way back from leading a bible study I walked past this man. I felt like I should help him out so I put a little money in the bowl that he kept in front of him as he sat on the disgusting sidewalk. (Sidewalks in Ch*na are not the cleanest to say the least (!) and it is considered a place for only the most lowly). I walked on after giving him the money and felt good about myself. I felt like I had shown that man the love of Christ. Then later that night as I got in bed I realized that I should have done more.

So the next day I went and bought the man some bread and a bottled water. I handed it to him, smiled and went on my day feeling once again that I had shown the love of Christ to this man. As I lay down in my bed that night God spoke right to my heart like he never had before. I realized, "Yeah, I'm giving him money and food, but is that showing the love of Christ?

I realized that it wasn't showing His love, because after all, Muslims have the command to give to the poor in their religion, Buddhists also have the command to help the poor, Atheists for the most part help others in need.

In fact, all of these groups had done these same things I had been doing with this homeless man. So how was I to show this man the love of Christ? How did that look different from what they were doing? So God spoke to me and showed me what He did to show people love. God spoke to my heart and the following few days changed my life.

I walked by the man as I did many nights before. I walked by him and went about a block away to a noodle shop. There I bought some soup and noodles, food that he could never afford to buy but for me, the sacrifice was nothing. I walked over to him and handed him the noodles. He looked up at me, took the food, and said "Thank you," in Ch*nese. But the next thing really caught him off guard.

I sat down next to him and crossed that taboo barrier. I pulled out my own soup and noodles and started to eat next to him on the dirty sidewalk.

I remember him just staring over at me for what seemed like forever. I can't help but wonder if he was thinking: "Is this big white stranger going to hurt me?" (I am a big man.) But eventually he went back to eating his noodles. I practiced some of my Chinese with him, introducing myself, telling him where I was from, what my name was.

People walked by and their faces said it all. It was obvious as they passed by that they had never before seen this rather unusual sidewalk friendship. I had a great conversation with him and he had opened up by the end of it. I got up, said goodbye, and went home. Over the next week I returned with my friend and some soup and noodles. I got to know him very well and was eventually able to tell him about Christ's love for him.

One night he wrote on a napkin we had. He wrote in Chinese something that I will treasure always. It translated to "You are the greatest man I have ever met." I didn't know what to think when I later found out the meaning of the words. But that night was the last time I saw him. They probably found out about an American sitting with him and kicked him out into the small villages in order to keep China's positive image. But what he wrote stuck with me. Once again I got in my bed that night and God spoke to me. I realized that I am far from a great man, and in fact I am a man that is terrible, but through this terrible man the homeless beggar saw the Greatest Man, Jesus. It was the first time that I have ever felt like Jesus completely used me one hundred percent, like I was just a spectator. It felt good and fueled my passion to not just do a little something extra, but rather to really show people what the difference is between doing good things and showing a person the true love of Christ.

Now, I ask you friends. Are you any different from an atheist, a Muslim, a Buddhist, or a Hindu? We all do nice and good things, but what makes what we are doing any different from what they are doing? We need to truly share the love of Christ with people in a way that we are sometimes secretly scared to. That is what makes Jesus the amazing man that He is! He went the extra distance to show people that he actually cared about them and not just their needs. So, what are you going to do about it? Today is the day, friends. What if We....

What if We... (& Giveaway)

***Update:
I am getting some GREAT responses in the comment section. Let's try to narrow it down for a more specific, more attainable approach...such as
What if we paid for the car behind us in the drive-thru?
What if we fed the homeless person we see every day on the way to work?
Thanks, Bloggerotsky. You are awesome.



Brandon Heath's album What if We is messing me up so much right now.
I visit his website and for the past several months since What If We came out, he has been asking questions and answering them with video blogs....
such as:
What If We bought a stranger's lunch?
What if We Learned to Communicate?

It has inspired me to continue the quest in what the Book of James calls true religion...as in loving God by caring for those who are unloved or oppressed.

So that's where you come in. I am beginning a blog feature called

and I want your help. Beginning now, I am asking you, dear Bloggerotsky, to fill in the blank
"What if we..."
Your suggestions will be used if possible for an upcoming series of video blogs where I will try to demonstrate your suggestion.
If your suggestion is used, you will score a FREE Brandon Heath CD and also see your idea come to life!

Let's remember to keep it within reach, because we want to actually accomplish these things (i.e. What if we...had world peace is a lofty goal, but slightly unattainable for "that Girl..." at this present moment).

You may also steal that graphic and put it on your own blog (please be sure to link it to my blog, so that everyone can be in the running for the giveaway--we want everyone involved...Hence, What If WE.

so, get to it, folks.




What if we....

Love is the Movement.

I dare you to visit the to write love on her arms website and discover what you can do to help those who struggle with depression. Here is a little mission statement:

"TWLOHA is a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for those struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. TWLOHA exists to encourage, inform, inspire, and also to invest directly into treatment and recovery."

yeah! that's the heart of our God right there: RESTORATION.

This is run by some really amazing people who want to change people's lives. check it out: http://www.twloha.com/

you won't be sorry. And pray for those who struggle today.