Tuesday, June 23, 2009

That Girl Moment #924: Parental Advisory.

I try to be cool.
Let me just let you know that I know this effort is futile.

But I wanna give my best shot and fire away like Pat Benatar would want me to. My use of pop culture references like the aforementioned are ways for me to try and let people know I am on the "up and up" but as we all know, that isn't true. I'm so far behind on the coolness meter that I am ahead.

Working with college kids only makes me want to be cooler. I like for them to want to hang out with me, trust me, and think that I am someone who is on their side and wants to advocate for them.


Eh. I also want them to think I'm stylish and hilarious if you want the truth. I have no original material when it comes to humor so that presents a problem. I wasn't born with the humor gene like Conan O'Brien (umm humor and hair volume? What the heck? UNFAIR.) or my friend Rachel, who could tell you a story and keep you in stitches and then sew you right back up with that classy biology degree she got from OCU. I am not quick-witted like my BFF Jami or silly-funny like my roommate Nicole. It takes me three or four minutes to get a punchline and by that time everyone has moved on two miles down the road of conversation, leaving me with my thumb out hitching a ride.

I tend to be fairly innocent from time to time and assume that everything is a clean and shiny as I'd like it to be. I was reminded of such yesterday.

My friend Jeremy is a really funny person. He has a very dry sense of humor and sometimes can be extremely sarcastic. He made an interview video which he asked someone a question that practically made me pee my pants right in this here office chair. So yesterday, I decided to steal from the best and leave the rest. Don't worry your pretty little heads Bloggerotsky, because I was soooo going to give him Comedic Credit for the laughs I was about to get.

I got laughs all right. But they weren't the kind where people are laughing with you.

Epic FAIL.

A dear friend and OCU student/new RA named Isaac came in to visit yesterday. He was the perfect person to try out my new comedy act on....right?

eh eh.

I walked up to him, and whoomp there it went.

I said,

"Isaac, what are YOU going to do to bring the Boom Boom Pow to RA Training this year?"

and started to convulse laugh like Ed the Hyena because of my comedic victory of referencing some Black Eyed Peas song and a funny joke at the same time. My cool meter went through the roof. I just knew it.

Clearly my thermometer was still Broke-ed.

Isaac looked at me for a second with some measure of astonishment. Then he gave me a small grin and shook his head.

"Lauren, have you heard that song?" Isaac asked me.

I went on to tell him not really because they just sing it so darn fast and Fergie Ferg has Will.i.Am all crazy and ALL I KNOW IS THAT THEY SAY BOOM BOOM BOOM a whole lot and well frankly then I TURN IT BECAUSE I THINK IT'S SORTA ANNOYING AND ALL.

"It's a bad song. It has bad connotations...."

Oh bother.

"Umm, are you sure?? Are you positive?"

"Look it up!" said Isaac the Wise.

I did.

Those are some awkward and nonsensical lyrics. With expletives. And badness in the form of negative subject matter. Too negative to be referencing to a college kid.

dang it.

The Cool Kid train done left the station and That Girl missed it by a minute. All were not aboard. Not to mention instead I accidentally got on the train that leads kids into the den of badness. I guess Fergie Ferg is G-L-A-M-O-R-OUS enough to be the only one in the world to pull off a conductor hat.

I plead ignorance. Isaac is no worse for the wear, and I finally realized after feeling bad for five minutes or so that Isaac had to have heard the song to know it was a song of badness.

So I didn't lead him on the train to Fergalicious Town. I rejoiced with great rejoicing. Then I thought that even though I didn't know it was bad, it was still pretty dang funny.

If only Tipper Gore had given me a Parental Advisory Holla before I spoke of all things Black Eyed and Pea.

If only I could bring in the Boom Boom Pow like ole Tipper.


Cute little me! said...

this made me smile :)

Chelsa said...

i literally laughed out loud! that is sooo something that would happen to me.