Sunday, June 1, 2008

Stir My Affection.

So in the past few weeks I have been reading this book called The Shack.

It messed me up. In the best way. I wish everyone I know could read it. I can't explain it.

It's like LeVar Burton always said, "Don't take my word for it, read it yourself!"
(Reading Rainbow peeps: holla!)

Anyway, I writing this tonight to tell you that the words of Colossians are coming alive in my heart and my life.

We look at this Son and see the God who cannot be seen. We look at this Son and see God's original purpose in everything created. For everything, absolutely everything, above and below, visible and invisible, rank after rank after rank of angels—everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him. He was there before any of it came into existence and holds it all together right up to this moment. And when it comes to the church, he organizes and holds it together, like a head does a body.
He was supreme in the beginning and—leading the resurrection parade—he is supreme in the end. From beginning to end he's there, towering far above everything, everyone. So spacious is he, so roomy, that everything of God finds its proper place in him without crowding. Not only that, but all the broken and dislocated pieces of the universe
[that's me, folks...]people and things, animals and atoms—get properly fixed and fit together in vibrant harmonies, all because of his death, his blood that poured down from the cross.

colossians 1:16-20, MSG

The last couple of days, my fervent prayer has been:

stir my affection for you, Jesus.

because I want to love who He really is, not who I have made Him out to be-through my own legalism and not the truth of scripture. Through my own rose-colored, itty-bitty "God glasses" and not through the "nothing is impossible for you, God" lens of the Word. I am tired of compartmentalism. I finally am at the place where I want faith that integrates every cell of my being and every little tiny thing in my life. I want at Jesus that is at the center of the 3D pyramid, not just the point on top. This morning, I asked God what He wanted me to wear. That may seem small and insignificant to you-but a big step for me to remember that He wants to permeate every part of who I am, and moreover, to invite Him there. To find my proper place in Him without crowding Him out of the details.
So tonight I opened up God Calling--funny thing about that devotional is that I don't read it very often, but when I do on occasion it is always very pointed for whatever God is doing in me at that time, 'cause God is in the minutia, isn't He? Don't believe me? I have stories...--and sure enough God's spirit used the words of the book to continue to stir my heart.

Companionship [God Calling, 07/01]
The way of the soul's transformation is the Way of Divine Companionship. not so much the asking Me to make you this or that but the living with Me, thinking of Me, talking to Me-thus you grow like Me.
Love Me. Rest in Me.
Joy in Me.

As Charlie Hall so wisely wrote: O Christ, be the center of our lives. Be the place we fix our eyes. You're the center of the universe; everything was made for you, we lift our eyes to Heaven. We wrap our lives around Your life.

So here it is. I told Him the other day, I don't want Him to be first in my life, I want Him to be everything. He deserves every one of my heartbeats beating with His purpose.

reminds me of a couple of songs. (shocking, I know.)

Everything by Tim Hughes.

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping
God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking
God in my speaking
Be my everything
God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting
God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing
You are everything

I want that. Whatever it means, God. I want that.