Like A Child.

Sometimes I wish the Body of Christ acted more like a bunch of little girls.  

We often spend too many a moment acting like big shots, pointing fingers and blaming others, pretending we have God figured out, cynically talking trash about the Church--His Bride. (I bet He loves that, by the way.)  

Those activities keep us so preoccupied that we have no opportunity to marvel at His incredible work like a child at the flannel board in Sunday School. 

Kids are the cat's pajamas in the Kingdom of God (Jesus Himself said that one time), for children have been graced with eyes to truly view
 what can't be seen. As we grow older, life's callouses cover our vision so we miss out.  

It's socially acceptable for little looky-loos to crawl next to people's shoes, maneuvering to the front of the crowd to see what is really going on. Big people just wait in the back and hear whispers of greatness, longing to catch a beautiful glimpse but too caught up in themselves to do the same.

There is no room in the Kingdom for those who don't enjoy serving Him and find it akin to a spirited treasure hunt.

Like I said, I wish God's people acted more like a bunch of little girls.  Not just any little girls, but the ones I observed last weekend.  FBC Bicknell is a charter church for an organization called American Heritage Girls.  AHG is very similar in vision and mission to the Boy Scouts and a lady from our FBC Family started the chapter and leads the group.  A few months ago, my friend Brittany dreamed up a very cool fundraiser where we pampered women with mani/pedis and facials and dessert.  We used the money to buy pajamas and Bibles for some of the foster kids we know.  The leadership of AHG heard about the fundraiser and offered their help to make the project bigger than we ever dreamed. 

Writing their names to reveal who packed the bag

These little girls, some as young as age 5, became aware of a unique need in our area and got down to business meeting it.  The young ladies collected all kinds of toiletry items and toys, made no-sew blankets and sewed special bags for each child.  Last Saturday was the culmination of months of determined effort.  

Call me close to the cause but it touched me deeply as I watched the little girls go in groups from station to station picking age-appropriate gifts, hygiene items and small toys, taking their time to consider what each child would want most.  After each bag was filled, the little group of girls would pull up chairs and fold their little arms around their heads.  Tenderly each girl offered a prayer for the foster child who would receive the bag.  

I overheard the most precious words during that time...words that must've bent the heart of God near in half.  Small hands creatively holding and relishing eternal significance on a Saturday morning normally filled with cereal and cartoons.

This is what the Bride of Christ does -- she enjoys God.  She delights in what makes Him happy.  That's what I saw on Saturday.  

The girls giggled and squinted while choosing games.  Older girls smelled little shampoos to see which fragrance was the best.  They delighted in carefully picking blankets.  

Each one enjoyed talking to God - a little smitten, a little shy, but still lingering in conversation with Him as though there's no one else on earth but Him and her.

 

"Some say faith is a childish game. Play on children, like it's Christmas Day." {drew holcomb}

 Jesus, help us to fall deeply in love with you, as your Bride should.
 
-------------------------------

Perhaps a song or two to bring our calloused eyes and heart back into focus?

Local to Knox County and interested in AHG?  Informational meeting at FBC Bicknell on August 21st at 6:30 PM.

Letting Go

That Girl has always been self-diagnosed with what might be termed 'Separation Anxiety'. I have never been any good at letting go. In fact, I used to cry big crocodile tears when my mom took my blanket away for the bimontly wash-which meant she could not stand the smell anymore and it had gotten to the point when it was pretty much walking around on its own.
Gross.
However, there is something quite nostalgic about the days before GermX rolled down the mountains like God's mercy and started smelling like lavender. And I use the term lavender loosely.
But I digress. Since the days of The Blankie, I have not improved on my ability to
a) hang on to things or people forever
OR to
b) let them go. Case in point: my sadness at having to say goodbye to our College Students that came for camp. They were there for two whole days. We can't hold on to people forever, which instinctively makes us want to hold on to them even tighter. But one way or another-either by life's circumstances or the hand of God-our grip is tested and found far looser than we thought.

That doesn't mean I have to like it though.

Which is why I would be no good at things like
Skydiving- letting go of the sides of a plane to freefall into oblivion? No thanks. I LIKE handles.
Trapeze Art- refer to #1
Reading Karen Kingsbury. After the first series about the Baxters I was very attached. Then I was in seminary and no longer had time to read them. What a cruel world.

That is why I always admired people like my friends Joni and Chad. I mean, they invited children to come into their homes, share life with them, parent them, only to know in the back of their minds one day would come when they might have to let them go.
That's brave.
The word I think of comes from the late Jaime Escalante- the ganas -intestinal fortitude that leads people to do things even though try may be difficult.
I wish I was braver. Don't you?

Every time I heard Joni or Chad talk about foster parenting, I wished I could make a difference like them. I would think about how I could never do that based on my aforementioned separation anxiety. I was afraid of getting hurt and losing someone I loved. I didn't know how they weren't afraid of the same things and many, many more.

Until one day last fall.

Curiosity finally got the best of me. I finally asked Chad, a full-time pastor and seminary student how he did it. "Chad, this little boy calls you Dad. Your kids think he is their brother. You love him so much. How will you cope if he has to leave? How could you face letting go of him-potentially losing him to another foster home or his biological family? I could never do that."
He looked at me with the most piercing glance and then said something that would later change my life.


"Do you think I do it for myself?" Chad replied.

That's all it took, really.

Seth and I were engaged at that time and foster care was always something Seth had been very interested in. So I knew it was no coincidence that I had that discussion with Chad that day. Fast forward through the winter months and a wedding.
We were enjoying our new marriage and content with our new lives. A month went by, and God began to wake me in the middle of the night. I didn't know what He wanted at first, but I knew He wanted something.
Our church had been ministering to children by providing them meals at our programming every Wednesday, and I have had the pleasure of interacting with many of them. Some of them come hungry, with holes in their clothes and no life in their sweet little eyes. At some point, I could no longer say, "That's too bad" or "What a shame." instead, I was confronted with a need and I could either pity these children or I could do something about it. So I began to submit my fear to God a moment at a time, but my inadequacies are many and I was still terrified of inviting a child into our home and hearts and then seeing that child leave. So I went to Seth, hoping the practical side of him would remind me of exactly how long(or shortly!) we have been married and how silly I was to think that we could parent children in difficult transitions.


He didn't.


He promised instead to pray about it. The very next day he sent me a link for foster care at work. So Sweet Husband was on board. But I still wasn't sure I was.

So I cried out to God and ask Him to pick someone more qualified. More intelligent. Better with children. Better at letting go.

You know what He said?

He told me in essence through His Word and His voice that I could get in front of hundreds of people and not bat an eye. I can go overseas and serve without fear and I could pray with a stranger and write a blog that strangers read.
Okay, great.

But none of that took a lot of real faith though. What would take real faith was to commit to something that is totally contrary to my nature and trust God to teach me to let go.

"My grace is sufficient for you-my strength is made perfect in your weakness." 2 Cor. 12:9

This is one of the first times God has asked me to do something that at first, I did not want to do in the least. But I have also heard it spoken that God does His best work when we are out of our comfort zone the most.



So, I am letting go and letting God accomplish His purpose in this. But only with His help.

To Him be the glory.




- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

His Eye is On The Sparrow

I was having a not-so-good start this morning. You ever have one of those days?
God's word began speaking to me, gently convicting me as it well should.


My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26


The Lord gave me that word because I was feeling discouraged, and I was emailing to a friend who was also feeling discouraged. In my head rang loudly with the words all my friends DREAD:

"That reminds me of a song!"

They don't call me the Human Jukebox for nothing, peoples.




Here's the song:

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home?
When Jesus is my portion
My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.


Then I started thinking about what God says about those little birds....

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

and

How lovely is your dwelling place,
O LORD Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.
Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young—
a place near your altar, O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.


These little birds, some of the most forgotten and underestimated creatures in the land matter to God.



You matter to God.

I matter to God.




It doesn't matter if
you are unorganized
you are addicted
you are exhausted
you feel unloved
you are overweight
you are grieving
you feel ugly
if you can't seem to control your emotions
you had an abortion
you didn't finish high school
you don't know how you are going to pay the bills
you are paralyzed by fear
& finally
even if He doesn't matter to you...



You matter to God.



I was reading about sparrows and come to find out, some of the nesting colonies may have many hundreds of thousands of birds. With that many in a group, it might be hard for a scientist to tell two of them apart or especially to know if one was sick.


It's not too hard for God. Because we matter to Him. He wants to be our portion-meaning, He wants to be our inheritance...what we find most valuable in this life so brief. He wants a relationship with Him to be the One Thing that sustains us through anything.

If He cares when this little bird, relatively useless to man except to entertain with song, falls to the ground and takes notice when one dies, HOW MUCH MORE does our Heavenly Father care for us?



I pray that because of this simple truth, our song will be sung to Jesus
because He is our portion,
because we take joy in His love,
because His sacrifice has won us our freedom.

We don't sing because our lives are perfect. We sing because we know that He notices that they aren't. We don't sing because He has made every problem go away. We sing because He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. We sing not always because we are happy, but because He is with us in our moments of trouble.




I sing because His eye is on the sparrow
&
I know He watches me.






In light of that, I challenge you to notice someone around you who needs encouragment and look for ways to share love with them today.

730 days.

I'm sitting at my desk today hoping I have received every single ounce of refining that the last two years and a gracious God have offered me. Every moment with every lesson that came with every hardship and every day that I wanted to pull the covers over my head and hide but didn't--I hope that none of them were wasted.

As I stood by my dying mother's bedside two years ago today, I remember thinking:
"If you are everything you say you are, you better do some good out of this. Because THIS is not good."

I was begging God to prove that He was the faithful, loving, enduring, trustworthy God I had always said He was. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't questioned everything that I have believed in the past two years. I'd also be lying if I said there are no questions that remain unanswered. The thing that I've learned in the past 730 days is this:

I serve a God who doesn't mind me asking them.


I have always thought it presumptuous to assume that God doesn't like our questions and doesn't deal with us in our doubt. After all, we are told to be like little children-for such is the Kingdom of Heaven.


....Oh, to be like the little hearts who ask a million questions every day. "Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Why are you singing so loud in the car, Aunt Wah?"

(ok, maybe I am the only one having to field that last question.)

We are told in Hebrews that we don't have a Great High Priest who can't sympathize with our weaknesses. I have demonstrated that one of my own weaknesses is the fact that I like to understand exactly why things happen the way I do. I believe with all my heart that God understands why I ask the questions. He may choose not to answer them in the way that I expect, but that my doubt is faith seeking some understanding.

It's frustrating when people act as if they have a corner on the mind of God, whether it be in approaching the grief-stricken such as:
"God needed another angel."
"He must've had work for her to do up there."
and my personal favorite
"She's one of those stars shining back at us at night."

Okay, your Lion King meets angelic being meets works in Heaven theology might be a little off.

or about life in general:

"Here's how the end of time is going to play out, step-by-step."
"We know when Jesus is coming back."
"God didn't heal you because you didn't have enough faith."

It take some serious, errr, intestinal fortitude, to assume the mind of God. Now I don't know about you, but I am not really interested in serving a God that I completely and fully understand with my finite mind.


But we can't be angry with humanity for searching for the answers to the questions out of a mostly pure desire to understand. The reason that people say things like that is because their faith is seeking understanding--but they are looking for understanding in places other than in God's Word.

Another thing that I've learned is that God doesn't need me to explain why He allows certain things to happen. He doesn't need my commentary to make people still love Him even in the midst of suffering.

What He needs from me is to be His PRESENCE around people in the face of it. What He desires is for me to love those who are suffering, not get them to avoid blaming God for it. It's not my responsibility to explain God--it's my honor to let them know that they can ask Him directly about it. It's also my honor to help them feel His love so that when they ask, "Where is God in the midst of this?"


Their answer will look like mine:
God was in the room 730 days ago when I kissed my mama goodbye for the last time.
How do I know?
His people were there.


730 days ago I began a journey of asking the God of the Universe if He really is who He says He is. For the first time in my life I found myself in the Dark Night of the Soul. The crossroads of faith. 730 days ago I began the journey of realizing that He is everything He says He is and that there is coming a day when, as Steven Curtis Chapman says:

But in my mind’s eye
I can see a place
Where Your glory fills every empty space
All the cancer's gone
Every mouth is fed
and there’s no one left in the orphans’ bed
Every lonely heart finds their one true love
And there’s no more goodbye
And no more not enough
And there’s no more enemy
no more

It's not enough to just believe in that day, though. it's our joy and responsibility to see that the Kingdom comes here and now. It's our job to point people in the direction of the Kingdom to come by seeing it enacted now.


I'm glad to know a God who is willing to go to great lengths to prove His love for us. The last 730 days have been some of the hardest of my life so far, but His promise is true. He is who He says He is, and I am thankful I have had the chance to discover it firsthand.

Arm-In-Arm.

Here's toddler E holding onto her Papaw's arm.





You can see his happiness in the picture.




She wants to be close to him. She's not trying to butter him up for a gumball on the way out of Denny's or a trip to Chuck E. Cheese for dinner. She is holding onto him because she doesn't just LOVE him, she LIKES him.


When was the last time we spent time with Jesus just for the sheer joy of being close with Him? I know that the Bible teaches us to ask for things, but sometimes the majority of my time with God is filled up by me asking, asking, asking. I rarely just say something like: "I love you so much, Jesus!" or "I just want to know you more, Lord!"


When was the last time we opened our Bibles because we longed for the nearness of Him? Our sense of duty does not impress or bless Him.


We can go through life feeling the weight of the world on our shoulders, or we can link arms with Jesus and have Him carry the load and more importantly, share the journey with us. He's waiting, offering His arm and eagerly anticipating for us to saddle on up beside him and link arms.

What do you want to tell Jesus today in response to this?

Open The Eyes of My Heart.

I am currently reading a book called "Eyes Wide Open" by Jud Wilhite. I will blog more about the whole of the book next week, but a sentence in the introduction really grabbed me and I just can't shake it.

This distorted perspective also affects how we see ourselves. We look in the mirror, and instead of seeing one loved and forgiven by God, created in His image, empowered to influence the world for Him, we see something else. We see images from the past....
If this sounds familiar to you, then I need to warn you about something: Distorted images are not only shaping your perspective but are also hindering your possibilities. If you see yourself as insignificant long enough, you'll start to act accordingly. If you see yourself as ugly or worthless, it will affect how you relate to your family and friends, your God, and your world....Rather than make your own unique contribution in the world, you may pull back and settle for mediocrity. But this is not the real you. (pp. x, emphasis mine)

Jud Wilhite is right. Often we let our past or our struggles define who we are.



You are not your sin. You are a unique creation of God, and when you let your past say what your current character is, then your joy disappears and you face a constant reminder that you feel like a total screwup.



Doubt that's the way God wants you to live.


Instead, He wants to your past to teach you about who HE is, not who YOU are.


He wants you to know that even through your mistakes He has been a faithful, forgiving, and loving God. He doesn't want you to spend your years of life walking with Him doing buttkicks because of all the things you did before you started walking with Him. Tell me what that does except give you a nice bruise on your heiny and a huge pain in the booty.


Instead, He desires a heart of true repentance. A heart that moves forward daily, further and further away from the person you once were to the person who has created you to be. He doesn't want you to sit down on the timeline of life and forget to move on.


God's will for your life is not to look in the mirror daily and regret everything you have done. He wants to you to look in the mirror and imagine what you can do and who you can be.


Don't get me wrong. Repentance is KEY in our relationships with God. But once we thoroughly apologize for our sins and commit to avoiding those pitfalls next time, God forgives and forgets it.
Those struggles that we have been through, the sin that we have allowed, can bring us closer to Jesus if we let it.

Let your heart dwell on lies long enough and you will start to believe them. Knowing how detrimental this is to us, God wants truth down to the deepest parts so that we realize that we have the freedom to overcome in the name of Christ Jesus!


May He open the eyes of our hearts to what we could be

instead of who we were.

Q & A Time: Part # Who Knows.

Won't you join me for another edition of answering Bloggerotsky questions?



Deanna asks:
Hi Lauren. Would love to hear more about you and Seth.... how you met, etc.!!! If it's already on your blog, maybe you could just post the links?!!! :)



Deanna, I am so happy that you asked that particular question for a number of reasons. First of all, I love talking about Seth and if you give me an excuse to discuss him, it's even better!
Secondly, today, June 9, 2009 is the second anniversary of our very first date! So I'd be happy to fill you in on the details! Allow me the privilege of waxing nostalgic for a moment as I tell the story.


The short story is:
I baked him a pie.

The Long Story is:

I met Seth for the first time at Mi Pueblo, my very favorite restaurant. I was eating with my BFF Ashley. She knew SEth and he and his friend came to sit with us. I was in high school at the time. After that meal I told Ashley wasn't too sure what I thought about that guy. She assured me that he was awesome. I raised my eyebrows.


I left Mi Pueblo that afternoon not knowing what God had in store a few years down the road.



My friendship with Ashley continued and every once in a while she would mention something about her friend Seth and how nice he was. Her mom would also make comments. We were both active in the same Emmaus community and had a few mutual friends so I would hear his name. I can't explain how but I would think about him from time to time. "I wonder what he is up to these days." Perhaps a desire to get a new opinion of him since my friends all had such respect for him.
I didn't date at all in High School, which ended up being a very good thing for me. My freshman year at OCU, I got an email from a lady who attended FBC saying she had a guy she wanted me to meet.
Sweet! So I began emailing back and forth with the guy. After several emails, he asked me out. Turns out, he was the music director at FBC, where Seth was still serving as the youth pastor. While Brian made plans for our blind date, he solicited advice from his friends, including (you guessed it) Seth.
(I know I have a crazy life but what are the odds, people?)
I went out with Brian that night, and as life would so ironically have it, we saw Seth and a friend of mine walking down the street. Brian pulled over and we talked with them, and I remember thinking that his eyes looked very kind--I know, pass the cheese-- and he was very nice to me. I remember thinking that maybe I had "that guy" pegged wrong.

After my one and only date with Brian, I knew it wasn't the right fit. He loved the Lord but we were in very different stages of life. As life would again hand out the irony, Brian went on to meet a great girl named Summer and they lived happily ever after as SETH performed their wedding ceremony.

haha.

Why yes, I am That Girl.

Fast forward through a few more years, one heartbreak, missions, more school, a call to ministry, and a cancer diagnosis. In April of 2007 Seth and I were asked to work the same retreat. At the first meeting, we did a 'get-to-know-you' game. I really had a desire to know him better, so I walked over and he then was my partner. We each had to talk for a minute about ourselves. I told him about K, H, and E and he told me about his dog, Angie. He seemed really nice! We had a delightful little conversation and I was sure he was a good man. I ended up in Seth's prayer group. We all shared prayer concerns (he may sell my new domain name and kill me for this, but) and Seth asked us to pray because he wanted to find someone with whom to share his life-someone who would have a passion for serving people and ministry.

I died and went to Heaven right there.

Later that week I discussed with my BFF Jami how cute I thought he was and what he had said. Then I got out the directory and paced back and forth trying to figure out a way to call him. I decided I would call "ALL" the people in my prayer group and see how they were doing. I had never done that before or since. I was SO NERVOUS when I called him because I didn't want to sound like a freak (like every other moment of my life--he's QUITE used to it now, I think), and I just asked him how I could keep him in prayer this week and just to see how things were going. Utterly lame, I know. He was like, "Well, just what I told you this week pretty much." It took every ounce of self-control I had not to say, "Honey, I have heard you preach and I would like to be the answer to your prayers."

I got off the phone, looked at Jami who was there for moral support and said, "Welp, I blew that. He thinks I am a total whackjob."

Little did I know that Seth asked his roommate that night about me. Including if I was single.

During the retreat he always came to talk to me or to see if I needed any help. We bonded over funny stuff and ministry and Caedmon's Call's best album ever. Most of all we bonded over Jesus and His love for us.

Ashley and I schemed after the retreat, and we invited him to Mi Pueblo-where else, no wonder Mexican soap operas are so popular- with a bunch of other "friends" for no reason in particular we said. He showed up and said that he thought women could do anything men could do in ministry. I think that song "I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight" may have come on my mental jukebox. We started texting that night and I became That Girl to the people in the church community where he served. They desperately wanted to figure out who That Girl Seth is always texting was.

Through our "conversations" I learned that Seth is a big fan of pie. One morning I got up DETERMINED to bless him. So I got out the recipes and I whipped up a pretty fantastic strawberry pie. I called him up, drove to Office Max where he was, and said this AWESOME line.
"Um. Hi. Umm, I brought, I made you this pie. HERE!" I basically threw it into his arms.

He liked the pie. The next week I happened to have a roommate working at the camp the same week as Seth, so I drove up to see her (haha) and happened to run into Seth. Then I happened to give him a bag of Chex Mix. I am such a believer of winning the heart through the stomach. Can you tell?

It paid off. Seth invited me to a friend's barbecue (it may or may not have been on facebook if you want to know the truth...).
We sat on this sweet little swing and talked until we looked up finally and realized we were the last ones there. That was two years ago today.



And that was the end of the beginning.



Now that Deanna and everyone else who reads this blog is so incredibly glad she asked that question (i just didn't want to leave anything out!), let's go to the cyber-mailbag for another question.

Savannah asks:
How are you always so positive? It's....so hard for me to do! Any advice or verses you use?

Savannah, I am certainly not "ALWAYS" so positive. Just like everyone else on earth, I have my moments when I feast on the anxiety and negativity that this world has to offer. I have always been a person who enjoys life, and I think it's hard to have fun in the water if you are always looking around for who peed in the pool, so to speak. Honestly, since my mom's death I have realized how important it is to live every moment completely and not to waste it dwelling on what I DON'T have or what I am NOT. Instead I can count my blessings and focus on what God HAS given me.
That's a double-edged sword because since her death, although I understand the importance, I have found it hard to be as positive as I was before. I am not making excuses. I am only saying I want to get back to the place where my mind does not go to the negative immediately. Even if I don't voice that and give off the air of remaining positive, the battle is lost in my mind.

Negativity steals the joy God has so richly given us. I have made up my mind that I don't have time to lose or throw away, and having a negative attitude does both. God's word tells us in Ecclesiastes:

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

If that's the case, and eternity has been set in my heart, does this light and momentary affliction really affect me that greatly in the light of forever?
Probably not.
And has He not suffered and endured in greater things for me than I will ever face in this life?

John 16:33 convinces me that there is nothing that can get in my way of living and loving if I put Jesus as the center of my life. Furthermore, if He is for me, who can be against me? Plus, what does complaining and pining for what I don't have get me except a lot less friends and an ulcer? It doesn't change anything. It only makes me miserable.

A line from Martina McBride says it best:
I've come to know/that the world won't change just 'cause I complain/let the axis twirl/I'm a happy girl.
Hope that answers your question a little bit!


Jenn wants to know about my jamz.
I love your playlist! I even have some of the same songs on my playlist. You seem to have quite a diverse mix...what is your favorite kind of music?

Oh girl. First of all let me just say a great big thank you for noticing because I lurve me some music. My favorite musician is Dave Barnes. My favorite genre is definitely singer-songwriter acoustic stuff. Is that even a genre, you may ask? Yes. It is because I just decided it was just now. I also love Sandra McCracken and Derek Webb. Give me some U2 and a Coca-Cola Classic and I'm one gleeful chick. Bring on the Patty Griffin with a side of Bebo Norman and for dessert, Bethany Dillon and Shane and Shane. Let's not forget the Taylor Swift with a twist of Watermark (christy nockels--that girl can SAAANG) as well as a hint of Hillsong United and let's add some Abba for good measure. While we're at it, why don't we add a little Johnny and June and some TobyMac to the party? Let's keep it real with Charlie Hall and Tenth Avenue North. I am groovin' to Jimmy Needham and Aretha. Throw a little old-school Point of Grace (they're still pure awesomeness after all these years) and some Leeland and you've got yourself a heck of a playlist.

As you can see, I really enjoy almost all genres of music. I always keep in mind that just because it may not have the label Christian on it does not limit God's use of it in my life. Truth and beauty can be found in lots of unexpected places.




Thanks for sticking around to the end and for all of your questions, faithful ones. I love you more than I love The Goonies and hot tamales.

So You Want a Revolution? Get on your knees and ASK!

In the time it normally takes you to read my (almost) daily blog, I ask you to pray for the three speaking engagements I have coming up...

In order to see God move, we have an opportunity to seek His face!

Thursday night
REVOLUTION!!!! REVIVAL
Winslow Indiana--Winslow Community Center 7PM Fast Time
Hosted by IRONMEN men's group
Open to public


Friday Night
Springs Valley Wesleyan Church
Ladies Dinner
7PM Fast Time
Open to Women--if you would like to attend, please email me at lauren.thatgirl@gmail.com

Saturday Night
Plainville Christian Church
Mother/Daughter Banquet
6:30 PM Fast Time


As you can see, I will be doing a lot of traveling this weekend. Please pray for safety as well as every person under the sound of my voice this weekend without exception being touched and changed by the power of God.

Thanks. I love you little Bloggerotsky Babies!

Guest Blog//What If We....(please read)

My friend Cody spent a year in Ch*na working as an official teacher and a covert missionary to college students. I heard him share this story


and I can NEVER, ever be the same.


This story begs the question:



Cody's Story....
I would like to tell you a story of what I experienced while being a missionary to Ch*na. I had been in the city of Guanghzou for my first two months working with the underground Church. Everything seemed to be going great until one week God totally flipped my world upside down.

I always noticed a homeless beggar that sat on a sidewalk. What was really interesting about this man is that he would only come out at night. He was almost ashamed of being seen in his state during the day. So one night on my way back from leading a bible study I walked past this man. I felt like I should help him out so I put a little money in the bowl that he kept in front of him as he sat on the disgusting sidewalk. (Sidewalks in Ch*na are not the cleanest to say the least (!) and it is considered a place for only the most lowly). I walked on after giving him the money and felt good about myself. I felt like I had shown that man the love of Christ. Then later that night as I got in bed I realized that I should have done more.

So the next day I went and bought the man some bread and a bottled water. I handed it to him, smiled and went on my day feeling once again that I had shown the love of Christ to this man. As I lay down in my bed that night God spoke right to my heart like he never had before. I realized, "Yeah, I'm giving him money and food, but is that showing the love of Christ?

I realized that it wasn't showing His love, because after all, Muslims have the command to give to the poor in their religion, Buddhists also have the command to help the poor, Atheists for the most part help others in need.

In fact, all of these groups had done these same things I had been doing with this homeless man. So how was I to show this man the love of Christ? How did that look different from what they were doing? So God spoke to me and showed me what He did to show people love. God spoke to my heart and the following few days changed my life.

I walked by the man as I did many nights before. I walked by him and went about a block away to a noodle shop. There I bought some soup and noodles, food that he could never afford to buy but for me, the sacrifice was nothing. I walked over to him and handed him the noodles. He looked up at me, took the food, and said "Thank you," in Ch*nese. But the next thing really caught him off guard.

I sat down next to him and crossed that taboo barrier. I pulled out my own soup and noodles and started to eat next to him on the dirty sidewalk.

I remember him just staring over at me for what seemed like forever. I can't help but wonder if he was thinking: "Is this big white stranger going to hurt me?" (I am a big man.) But eventually he went back to eating his noodles. I practiced some of my Chinese with him, introducing myself, telling him where I was from, what my name was.

People walked by and their faces said it all. It was obvious as they passed by that they had never before seen this rather unusual sidewalk friendship. I had a great conversation with him and he had opened up by the end of it. I got up, said goodbye, and went home. Over the next week I returned with my friend and some soup and noodles. I got to know him very well and was eventually able to tell him about Christ's love for him.

One night he wrote on a napkin we had. He wrote in Chinese something that I will treasure always. It translated to "You are the greatest man I have ever met." I didn't know what to think when I later found out the meaning of the words. But that night was the last time I saw him. They probably found out about an American sitting with him and kicked him out into the small villages in order to keep China's positive image. But what he wrote stuck with me. Once again I got in my bed that night and God spoke to me. I realized that I am far from a great man, and in fact I am a man that is terrible, but through this terrible man the homeless beggar saw the Greatest Man, Jesus. It was the first time that I have ever felt like Jesus completely used me one hundred percent, like I was just a spectator. It felt good and fueled my passion to not just do a little something extra, but rather to really show people what the difference is between doing good things and showing a person the true love of Christ.

Now, I ask you friends. Are you any different from an atheist, a Muslim, a Buddhist, or a Hindu? We all do nice and good things, but what makes what we are doing any different from what they are doing? We need to truly share the love of Christ with people in a way that we are sometimes secretly scared to. That is what makes Jesus the amazing man that He is! He went the extra distance to show people that he actually cared about them and not just their needs. So, what are you going to do about it? Today is the day, friends. What if We....

Saturday Morning.

{I would post some pics but let's face it, nobody wants to see me right now and I don't want to terrify my poor boyfriend with my hair-the poof has gone awry.}


But I have to tell you that as I woke up this morning, the community around me was the most beautiful thing (even if my hair isn't at this moment in time). I am at the Thompson family home and we are getting ready to enjoy breakfast. There is a Halo game going on behind me, and Eli and a friend are enjoying their video game and keeping it real as their coordination skills blow me away (literally). Sarah and her friend as well as Ariel are still sleeping right now, and to tell you the truth I am surprised I am awake myself. I love this day.

Terri is working on scrambling some eggs and Randy and I just talked politics for a while. I am drinking an orange juice, the kind the family buys me that is for "that girl" that comes and stays at random hours of the day and night... it's the little minute maid mini kind that I cart off to school with me on Thursday and Sunday mornings. It makes me feel special.




All that to say it doesn't take much to make someone feel loved.


I wish with all my heart I could be with my own family as my oldest niece K (who lives across the US) will be performing as a dalmation in her school play next week and then they head to Disneyland with my dad. With school and work, there is just no way, so I am thankful for a place to feel a little like a kid again on Saturday morning.


My sweet friends, what are some little things you can do or say to make someone feel loved? What are some ways we can make everyone feel like a part of God's family?




Go love Jesus and people today...

Quoteable.

"You came to see a race today. To see someone win. It happened to be me. But I want you to do more than just watch a race. I want you to take part in it. I want to compare faith to running in a race. It's hard. It requires concentration of will, energy of soul. You experience elation when the winner breaks the tape - especially if you've got a bet on it. But how long does that last? You go home. Maybe you're dinner's burnt. Maybe you haven't got a job. So who am I to say, 'Believe, have faith,' in the face of life's realities? I would like to give you something more permanent, but I can only point the way. I have no formula for winning the race. Everyone runs in her own way, or his own way. And where does the power come from, to see the race to its end? From within. Jesus said, 'Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you. If with all your hearts, you truly seek me, you shall ever surely find me.' If you commit yourself to the love of Christ, then that is how you run a straight race."

Eric Liddell,
from the film Chariots of Fire

Ladies Day 2009/Spurgeon GB Church (aka it's MondayandIneedanenergydrink...)

Picture it: French Lick, Indiana, early March, the sun peeking through the trees....


Okay, I tried to do a little Sophia action from the Golden Girls but let's face it, I am tall, thick, and don't have a cute little Bronx accent. But I am lacking that same filter Sophia lacks from time to time.


ehh, I digress.



But I want to tell you about the amazingly blessed time I had with the ladies who attended the event at Mt. Lebanon on Saturday. I think that God did answer my prayer for Him to touch every heart without exception, and He certainly did not exclude me. I am so thankful for the women that I met who shared their stories with me and allowed me to pray with them, and the relationships I was able to build and nurture.

Thank you, ladies, for listening to the Holy Spirit, for being so encouraging, and for a wonderful day. Thank you to the folks and Mt. Leb who made me feel like I had been there all my life and for the wonderful lunch and worship art we had the privilege to watch. Thank you to Deanna, Amber, and Charlotte for leading the charge into His presence. That Girl was blessed beyond measure and it looks like we will get to party again soon--this time in Paoli and another place that my brain is too tired to remember...hee hee. More details to come, obviously, but I think it will involve a Friends Meeting.

{Yes, that's right. That Girl is going to speak at a Quaker ladies meeting. I am SOOOO EXCITED! My precious friend Royce issued the invitation early this morning. She is a brave one. And That Girl needs a lot of prayer....you know how I am.}

Anyway, Miss Leslie from my hometown wrote a blog that talks about the day: if you couldn't make it, check out her blog, because I could totally tell she took some amazing notes :D
I just love her.

--------------------------------------------------------------
Sunday morning, I had the distinct privilege of sharing a friend's pulpit. He trusted me to care for his delightful sheep while he is on holiday (ADD interjection: doesn't going "on holiday" sound so much more jazzy than "going on a vacay?" let me know your thoughts on this...)
and I had the best time with them. They were warm, welcoming, and encouraging. I am so thankful for the way that they love each other--the children get to take up the offering too and that was just totally precious. Thanks Marc and Spurgeon GB >Keep fighting the good fight!

--------------------------------------------------------------

I am so blessed to do what I get to do and every time I speak, I thank the God of all creation that I can't imagine doing anything else with my time and my life than preaching His Gospel and encouraging the brethren.


I hope I have a few new readers now...thanks for stopping by and please come back!


You are dearly loved by God and me, little ones.

Ashes.

Today we celebrate the beginning of Lent. It is a season which marks the passion of Jesus and is ended with a celebration of the resurrection, which reminds us that God will renew the face of the earth.


It is a season that also reminds us of our mortality. God's Word tells us in Psalm 90:

1 Lord, you have been our dwelling place
throughout all generations.

2 Before the mountains were born
or you brought forth the earth and the world,
from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

3 You turn men back to dust,
saying, "Return to dust, O sons of men."

4 For a thousand years in your sight
are like a day that has just gone by,
or like a watch in the night.

5 You sweep men away in the sleep of death;
they are like the new grass of the morning-

6 though in the morning it springs up new,
by evening it is dry and withered.

7 We are consumed by your anger
and terrified by your indignation.

8 You have set our iniquities before you,
our secret sins in the light of your presence.

9 All our days pass away under your wrath;
we finish our years with a moan.

10 The length of our days is seventy years—
or eighty, if we have the strength;
yet their span [a] is but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.

11 Who knows the power of your anger?
For your wrath is as great as the fear that is due you.

12 Teach us to number our days aright,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

13 Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?
Have compassion on your servants.

14 Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.

15 Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.

16 May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.

17 May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.




This Psalm reminds us that we are brief, but He is forever. so again this week on this blog, I shamelessly beg of you, live for the Kingdom that will outlive us. Even Jesus knew His time was short-33 years-but He made every moment count. Living for others. Dying to self.

Isn't that what the ashes mean to those of us in a relationship with Christ? A reminder that we have died to ourselves and are raised in Christ.



Lord, teach us to figure out that we won't live forever so that we can make it count...

As I Lay Me...

When I was a young girl, I loved this song by Sophie B. Hawkins. I think I liked for a couple of reasons:
I loved the melody and it was easily stuck in my head.
I liked the words a lot and it was on the radio all the time.
most of all, in it were the words I prayed before bed each night.



As I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.



My mom and I would pray that together every evening between The Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew mysteries and turning on the radio to lull me to sleep. Sometimes that song would come on as I was in bed. I remember something inside of me would soar when I heard that song. It was written as a love song, but it was so much more to me.


This (February--coincidence?) morning, as I sat in the dentist's chair praying for all of those I love who have lost loved ones or who are struggling...
jan
janet
ryan & chelsa
annie
julie
abbie
andrew
tim
matt & rachel
carla
sara
stephanie
tom

the list goes on and on and on....

and as I was talking to God on their behalf and in general, this sweet song began to play. I listened to the words, and suddenly they had new meaning.

It is a love song, but now I don't sing about someone, but TO Someone.

It is my heart cry for all of you who are carrying burdens today. May strength rise as you wait upon the Lord. And may He hold you dear, though you feel far away. May you whisper His name into the sky and wake up to a new day.

Join me in making this your prayer today not only for you but to those who hurt around you.


It felt like springtime on this February morning
In the courtyard birds were singing your praise
I'm still recalling things you said to make me feel all right
I carried them with me today now

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I'm far away
I'll whisper your name into the sky
And I will wake up happy

I wonder why I feel so high
Though I am not above the sorrow
Heavy-hearted
'Til you call my name
And it sounds like church bells
Or the whistle of a train
On a summer evening
I'll run to meet you
Barefoot
Barely breathing

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I'm far away
I'll whisper your name into the sky
And I will wake up happy

It's not too near for me
Like a flower I need the rain
Though it's not clear to me
Every season has its change
And I will see you
When the sun comes out again

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I'm far away
I'll whisper your name into the sky
And I will wake up happy




grace and peace to you, my friends.

El Roi.

The Lord gave me a scripture twice yesterday. I love studying the Hebrew and in Genesis 16, Hagar is forced by Sarah to flee to the desert, alone and pregnant. (I hear being pregnant is no picnic sometimes, but in the desert...yikes!) Then the Angel of the Lord ministers to her and in verse 13 she calls him El Roi, the God who sees.
Becky Boyles gave me a names of God sign with the name El Roi on it yesterday.
Then I spoke with Heather McPherson and asked her little boy Mason what his memory verse was this week.

Yep, you guessed it. "Thou God seest thee" (they memorize in KJV--too cute, huh?!).

I shared this in an email with some friends this morning but God prompted me to also share it with my loyal Bloggerotsky.


Our God sees you. He sees your frustration at the prayers you have prayed that have yet to be visibly answered. He sees the things that make you joyful and the things that have broken your heart.
He also sees your future and your past.
He sees you right now, sitting at a desk or teaching a classroom full of kids.
He sees you as you deal with clients and as you struggle to make ends meet in this recession.
He sees you as you care for your own children and rinse their sippy cups for the fifteenth time today.
He sees you as you lay in bed and cry because you think that He can't really see you because if He could, He would end your hurts.
He sees you beg Him for the dream in your heart to become a reality.

The God of the universe sees you. Unfiltered. Unrefined.

In 2 Chronicles 16, God tells us a little more about His character.
For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.

At the end of ourselves, we find a beauty in the knowledge that God has seen every tear we've cried, every song we've sung, every prayer we have prayed, and every moment we have gotten it right.

May the comfort of the God who sees everything about us and still loves us be what carries us today.

Darla is Trapped.

Darla (my Daewoo Leganza...I refuse to offend her by telling her age or mileage) is trapped in a foot of snow on a private drive as I have been at the Thompson household since Monday night. She cannot go anywhere, and if she could, it would be anywhere I want her to be, such as the local ditch or heaven forbid the two-foot deep lake by the Thompsons' property.


So she sits.

and I hope (not tryin' to be greedy here, folks) that we have snow days until she has a bit more get-up-and-go.

But honestly, she and I are both loving the break--being off the road, in one place for more than five or ten minutes, and don't forget the added bonus of NO GUILT because I legitimately CANNOT go anywhere.


It's nice....Real real nice.

Thankful to a God who sees our upcoming breaking points and gives us a much-needed moment. or several.


Just last week I told Him I couldn't continue at this speed anymore.



"Come to me, all of you who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest."
Matthew 11:28


How has He given you rest lately?

Days Like This...

...make me long for the day when all the wrongs will be made right.


Please pray for my friends jan and janet who have lost ones so dear to them.

I cry as I write this-


out of the great sorrow and burden I feel for them tonight...

&

out of the overwhelming love of a God who bears us as we bear the burdens of this {sometimes} ugly world.




May you know the love of One greater than your sorrows.
May you hug the stuffings out of someone you love today.

Gracious.

And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness...

Exodus 34:6



Have you ever been hurt by another person?

Have you found it hard to forgive?


I was asking the Lord this weekend to show me if there was "any wicked way in me" (Psalm 139) and He reminded me of "the cringe."

[Now I am going to blog this, but I am asking you not to assume that this is about anyone or anything in particular. 23 years is a long time to live in the world and along with those 23 years have come many hurts and wounds. Please be gentle and extend grace as I share these things with you, for I believe there are others like me who are struggling to forgive and I would not share this otherwise.]


"The Cringe" is a phenomenon that I named after noticing that when I have a beef with someone, I often cringe if I find myself faced with the possibility of seeing them. This is unhealthy and just plain wrong, especially when I cringe at the thought of being around brothers and sisters in Christ.

Friends, this should not be!

So as I asked the Lord if there was any wicked way, and he showed me "The Cringe" I had to sigh. Sometimes I ask questions to which I already know the answer.

As I think about the people that hurt me, I am reminded also that it all goes back to this:

If I believe that God is who He says He is, then the original problem behind "The Cringe" (my awkwardness or fear) is that

are you ready for this?


I am not trusting His character to make it right. His Word tells me He will, after all.

Everything, and I do mean everything, comes down sooner or later to an issue of faith. Do I believe God will reveal truth and make it right? Do I believe God has called me to love and forgive without condition?

AND NOT ONLY THAT,

but to be gracious, just as He has been gracious to me?


I didn't understand that word when I found it again in Exodus 34 last Tuesday. But I could not get that word out of my mind this weekend for anything...
I looked it up, and although it has several definitions, this is the one that was most helpful:
to be merciful or compasssionate

God is showing me that it's not enough to forgive. I must show great compassion and understanding, just as he shows me. I have a high priest who can sympathize with the deepest parts of my humanity. To avoid showing that to another person would be to deny the very nature of the God who lives in me.
Being gracious is not just about forgiveness. It's about having compassion on the human condition we so easily recognize in other but miss in ourselves.

So here I am, declaring that I need the grace of the One True God to not only love and forgive, but to be gracious. To extend mercy and compassion. Now for those of you who have heinous things done to you, this does not mean that we offer excuses for the behavior of others. Rather, it is living in the declaration of the Gospel, which is that...

"... God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."


He willingly laid down His own life for us while we were His enemies. Not only did He love us, but His compassion on us caused Him to desire to lay down His own life in order for us to find redemption. Now that's compassion. That is mercy.

That's the gracious thing to do, isn't it, girls?

And that makes me want to lay down my artificially created "right" to be upset, or to be hurt, or to have "The Cringe" manifest itself anymore.


Forgiveness is a choice, and it will never be a feeling before the choice is made. So if you are like me, you better quit waiting for a feeling to come and make the choice to walk in FAITH that God is who He says He is and offer compassion.

Don't miss out on a chance to be like Jesus and offer grace today. I need it so desperately, so how could I ever withhold it from anyone?

Be gracious.

Humbled.

That is what I am when I read emails like this one from Kathryn.

Lauren, do you have a paypal account? I'd like to send you enough $$ to buy 200 pieces of chocolate.. like Dove or those new Hershey Bliss.... I just recenty realized that Seth lived for 200 days and I"ve been praying for an opportunity to honor that (and a more "long term type of ministry.. still praying on that one). I'll figure out about how much that would be and how many packages, if I can easily get the $ and you could pick them up..

Baby Seth lived for 200 days. His legacy will live forever. I never got to meet him and neither did my girls. But their lives will be touched by his.



Please go read their story and encourage them today.

Be Careful What You Ask For.

Matthew 20
20Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him.

21"What is it you want?" he asked.
She said, "Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom."

22"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said to them. "Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?"
"We can," they answered.

23Jesus said to them, "You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father."



Matthew 27
55Many women were there, watching from a distance. They had followed Jesus from Galilee to care for his needs. 56Among them were Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Joses, and the mother of Zebedee's sons.


My professor, Dr. Leuze, had this pointed out by a friend of his the other day.
In Scene one, we have the mother of James and John (the sons of Zeb) approach Jesus and ask for her sons to sit on the right and left hand of Jesus when His Kingdom comes. The ultimate stage mom, huh?
Jesus must have been frustrated due to her lack of understanding that his kingdom was about the opposite of exaltation--it is about humility.

Scene two brings the crucifixion. There are many women standing there watching Jesus die on the cross, including the mother of James and John. It made Doc's friend wonder if Matthew's Gospel isn't trying to point out something to us right here.
The picture in your mind of Golgotha is pretty accurate....Jesus in the middle, with two other men being crucified on his right and on his left. Makes me wonder if she finally understood why Jesus denied her appeal for her sons to be on his right and left when he came into His Kingdom just a few chapters before.

This is not the Kingdom the disciples expected...Not a political kingdom like the one they desired to set them free from the tyranny of Rome. It is a different kind of Kingdom.

She was offended by that.

Am I offended by the different kind of Kingdom I serve?
Are you?


And when you look at the Man of Sorrows, does it all come into perspective for you?


Talk about it.