Monday, September 21, 2009

Advice.

During this season of engagement, Seth is holding me accountable to focus more on the marriage and less on the wedding. Bloggerotsky, will you help me too?

Leave some advice for Seth and me today in the comments.


(and keep it clean kids. this is a family show.)


love you all



(squealing)

23 comments:

M J said...

I got nothin'. During my entire year and a half engagement, I was surrounded by wedding magazines and decorations, because we did everything ourselves... BUT I can tell you that: something WILL go wrong on the day. You will remember it and laugh. And no matter how perfect (or imperfect) it is, that in the end, you will be married to the man you love and that is really what matters. Neither my hubby nor myself really remember much about our wedding. We got to the hotel afterward, started to get out of all our wedding clothes, looked at each other and said "I'm starving, what about you?" I think it might have been 10:00ish and we went down to the hotel restaurant, had dinner, and took a carriage ride around downtown. That impromptu moment together was better than the entire planned event. So, I guess my advice might be to remember that the ceremony is really for everyone else, and the rest of your lives together is what will really matter! :) Oh, and get a professional videographer, for sure, because you're not gonna remember a thing! lol

Carol said...

I think you already know the best advice: keep Christ in the center of your relationship and focus more on the marriage than the actual wedding ceremony.

And the other biggie is communication! It takes commitment, communication, and prayer. It's hard work at times, but so worth it! Love you both!

Susan said...

I was 18 when we got married. I was young and completely clueless when it came to wedding details. I always kind of felt it could have been more, we spent little money on it. But we have been married 14 glorious years. Those wedding memories are precious, but it is the moments that come after that will mean so much more. I hardly remember any of the little details of that day now, but I could give you play by play details of many moments since:)Enjoy!!

Chelsa said...

I honestly wasn't caught up in the details of the wedding at all. Not in my nature. I knew I wanted it outside and casual and that's about as stressed out as I got (except when the dumb videographer tried to change everything the night before and then i got a little peeved!).

i would say just make sure you enjoy this time w/ each other!

Amber Schmidt said...

These are some things I wish someone had warned me about:

Learn what GOD'S definition of Love is and live it every single day. Love is patient, love is kind, it is not boastful, it is not proud, it does not think itself unseemingly. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, ENDURES all things. Love NEVER fails.

Start and end your day in prayer WITH your husband. If there is a day when my hubby and I skip a prayer we definitely FEEL it for the rest of the day. Tensions and tempers flare until we come together and pray.

Communication. Even when you don't feel like talking... you MUST.

Marriage is not a fairytale. Even for those who are in Christ it will not be EASY... nothing in life that is worth living for is.

There will likely be days when one or both of you want to quit on those days you must CHOOSE to draw closer to each other instead of turn away.

Happiness is a choice. If you are not happy with your mate it is likely YOUR problem and not theirs.

Put God first, your spouse second and yourself third and you will never regret it.

((((hugs)))

Amber Schmidt said...

PS... get a good photographer... after the cake is eaten, the flowers are dead, the dress is dirty and the thank you notes are written... its all you have left.

(video is fine... but seriously..I have no idea where my video is... I look at my wall each day and see my wedding pictures!)

Stacy said...

This is the first time I've seen your blog. I recently got married almost 4 months ago, and the best thing that I can tell you is to remember that, at the end of the day, you'll still be married. Simple, yet this helped me back away from my Bridezilla moments and helped me focus on what really mattered.

kate g said...

I don't really have any advice, not being married myself and all. But I am thrilled for you!!! I wish you so much joy and love in your lifetime (YOU DESERVE IT!!!) and that should maybe be the focus- the lifetime of love you are building! :)
Think of how happy your mom would be/is knowing the lifetime you will get to spend with this man.
I will say, plan your day, have a lot of fun with it, enjoy yourself- you only do this once :) And have fun planning it and your life.
(From the woman who has yet to get there)
I read the story of the engagement and I just about cried for you! :) What a joyful day!
Congratulations!
kate

Sarah said...

Remember that things will go wrong during the planning of the wedding and during the wedding. (i.e., finding out that your dresses will take 16 weeks to ship when you go to order them and you're 16 weeks away from your wedding, yep, yours truly. Or the violinist will play too long and you'll have to stand at the end of the aisle for a long awkward time) BUT, regardless of what goes "wrong", you will be married to your best friend and the one God had planned for you all along and THAT is all that matters.

Meghan said...

Yes yes yes! That has been our saving grace because planning a wedding long distance while in the middle of school is tough! We went on an engagement retreat a few weeks ago that really put things back into perspective and made us realize that the wedding is the first day of the rest of our lives! Up until then, it was all about planning because that's my personality. This was the first weekend where we got a taste of what it was like to just be together and serve each other. Instead of fussing over silly wedding details (he's colorblind anyway so there's not much to convince him of!), we are trying to be so focused on making the best decisions regarding jobs, cities to live in, countries to serve in, ministries to work with around what is best for us and our marriage. Enjoy every minute of it girl. Your day will be here before you know it and I am so thrilled to walk with you on this journey! Praying for you!

Kaycee said...

Not sure if I have commented on your blog before or not, but congratulations on your engagement! Such an exciting blessing. :)

For my husband and I it was always about the marriage more than the wedding. My running mantra was "as long as we are married at the end of the day, it's the happiest day of my life". I distinctly remember hugging him right after coming back down the aisle and us giggling about how perfect the day was already. I also remember my mom just grinning at me because she knew the most important thing to us had just happened.

We could not wait to start our life together and viewed the wedding and reception as fun ways to celebrate that beginning. Keep that in mind in all your planning and the planning can be tons of fun without taking over, we really had fun together getting ready for it all and enjoyed every moment of the day. But I can honestly say the very best things have come after the wedding! :)

Tami said...

Lauren and Seth - you are such a great couple and you have your priorties in order. Keep Christ as the "Head" of your household and the other things will fall in place. Remember to never go to bed mad! Time is too short for all that silent time! Have a great life.

Nana said...

I'm assuming you mean marriage advice and not wedding advice. Here goes: Never, never EVER assume that the other person should "know what you're thinking". No one is a mind-reader.

Jen said...

Not sure how I missed it but I am so excited for you about your engagement! Congrats!! I think your proposal story is one the best I've ever heard!! I had goose bumps and felt all giddy myself while reading it!!

I am so excited for you and can't wait to follow your journey! I would say remember that a Marriage is so much more than just a wedding! Don't let the wedding take over everything, stress you out and whatever you do, don't become a Bridezilla! Ha!!! Take time to enjoy it because it's a season in your life that's precious!! Enjoy!!

Tina said...

Lauren -

I am so happy for you and I look forward to watching your beautiful wedding and marriage emerge and grow. I have only been married for 2 years, but it has been wonderful. Keep God in the center of your lives and everything else always seems to fall into place. Don't sweat the small stuff concerning your wedding plans. What is most important in that day is that the two of you are present and that the love you share and the love you have for God shows through to all that is present.

Much love!

Tina

Christy said...

Well I know you guys know the basics... the # 1 to put God in the center of your marriage. I love it that Seth is encouraging you to focus more on the marriage and not the wedding! What a guy... but only the best for "That Girl"> Love both you and Sethy baby

Keyly Watts said...

I would tell you don't spent a ton of money on the wedding. It's a wonderful day, but the "being married" is much more important than the "being broke"!!

Another thing that we've decided, we don't get into a fight over silly things. Sometimes it's hard but we make conscience choice not to fight with each other (some days we fail but we always make-up pretty quick).

Leah Robinson said...

I think you both already have the big picture....you love God FIRST! Everything else falls into place! Be open & honest with one another...communication is the key for real! When planning the wedding, don't get caught up in the details..b/c TRUST me something IS going to go unplanned and NOBODY except you two will even know :)

Whitney Dyer said...

Lauren, Congrats on your engagement. So happy for you! The story brought tears to me eyes!! Beautiful!!! My advice to is to not stress over anything. No matter what, you are marrying the man of your dreams, the man God has chosen for you. It doesn't matter if the flower girl falls asleep an hour before the wedding and cries and messes up her hair, or the groomsmen get blue paint on the white shirts from writing on the vechile, or your parents arrive late to the reception because they were putting the church back together and didn't get to see make your new grand enterance!!! Yeah, all of these happened to Bill and I and I just laughed!!! They make great memories, but nothing to stress over. I was so calm that day and I'm glad I was because it went too fast and there is so much to enjoy. Take everything in that day, but let it reflect you guys. Bill was definately groomzilla and I was the calm one!!!! But that is just who he is, and he wanted our day to be perfect-bless his heart!!! So, just remember that God is center and that no matter what, you guys will be married and destined for a happy ever after!!! I'll be praying for you guys as you prepare your life together-married life is amazing! Love and Blessings sweetie!!!

Leslie said...

This is advice for the engagement AND your marriage. I intend to do this when/if I ever remarry. Have a date night every week. A night where you still take time to dress up for each other. A night where you don't let anything else get in the way...barring a death in the family or a really important That Girl speaking engagement. Even when you have kids, make sure you have that one night of the week when you light a candle because it's a romantic thing to do. Love and feel loved. Jesus loves it when we do that.

Kristin said...

Lauren
Congrats again! I think you guys are on the right track already. Pray together and find ways to show your husband how much you respect who he is. I was terrible at that for so long...still have a ways to go, but I know that he craves feeling respected by me. That means watching my tone of voice and encouraging him when I can and just finding ways to show him that his opinion matters. Also encouraging him to be the spiritual leader in our home. That wasn't always the case with us and now that he is really trying it is important that I encourage it! It won't always be easy but if you have a strong foundation to build upon and seek God's will in your life you will be blessed!
Kristin

Tammy D. said...

Your stories make me laugh so hard I cry...thanks!
If you have to be somewhere the morning after your wedding, don't forget to bring a change of clothes! We had a lot of out-of-town guests so had a brunch and gift-opening party planned for the morning afer. I had to call my mom the next morning and beg her to drop off clothes at the front desk of the hotel. Of course when we walked into the party everyone was smiling at me. Whoops!

All My Monkeys said...

Ok. I'm gonna be a poo-poo-er here. But you asked, and you shall recieve. :D ANd I promise, I'm not crabby right now, I actually have thought about this for a few days.

You asked for help being accountable in your focus on marriage not weddings. I have enjoyed reading your blog in the past. But recently, like as in of the last 13 blog entries, only 2 have been of any substance. One where you described your "search" for your future spouse, and two where you cried out because of "the tongue." Maybe this isn't a reflection of who you are and what your focus is. And certainly everyone has a right to be excited about nuptuals. It can be all consuming. However, a wedding is ONE DAY. That one day would be no less worthy if you got married under a tree in the park on a Thursday with 20 of your closest family and friends, beer and pizza in the pavillion to follow. Most people aren't going to remember what the decor was, what you or the bridesmaids wore, the food, the songs sung at the ceremony or the songs you danced to (though they WILL remember your bridezilla moments). But in the future, they will look at you, married, as you are "Today". And that's what they will think of - the legacy you leave in what kind of marriage you have.

I planned my wedding in 3 months. And it was normal - in a church, reception with meal and dj, and even made the bridesmaid dresses.

My advice - simplify. Focus on your life today, your love and relationship with your man. That's what's gonna be there "tomorrow."