Friday, October 24, 2008

"You Don't Want None of Us....Do ya? Do ya?"

[title from a famous cheer on Family Matters, if you couldn't remember and it was driving you nuts...]


Everyone has felt its sting. I'm pretty sure there is not one person past the age of potty training that hasn't been rejected.

So what do we do? What do we say? How do we cope?

I have been reading a most brilliant book by Anne Lamott called Traveling Mercies. She talks in the book about the three best prayers she knows.

help me
help me
help me
thank you
thank you
thank you

(she talks about a friend's favorite prayers also...
in the morning: "Whatever."
in the evening: "Oh well."
I thought that was pretty good too. But that's another post.)

I am learning that the best way to deal with rejection is Anne' Lamott's two simple prayers.

help me help me help me
to deal with being rejected.

thank you thank you thank you
that you have never rejected me and that you never will.

Today, if you have ever felt the sting of rejection in one of your relationships, know that he has too. It brings me comfort on some level to know that "he was despised and rejected, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."

[By the way, how do you become acquaintances with grief? You FEEL it. You know it well.]

He won't ever turn you away. So just whisper to him:

he's not looking for eloquence. Only the acceptance of the obvious: he's the only one who can.

By the way, Thank you to Shannon for a beautifully written email about my post on grieving a la CS Lewis. I love her with all of my heart and am grateful for her wise and loving friendship in my life.