Wedding Gifts.

I hate registry shopping.

Annie and Adam's wedding is fast approaching, and I need to buy them a gift.


I hate it with the passion of a thousand burning suns. I know it's a necessity so that I can get things for the bride and groom that they actually ENJOY, but it's a royal pain.

First of all, I'm indecisive. I don't like making decisions and the very premise of registry shopping means at least ONE good decision.

1. The first thing I hate about it is actually finding the registry station in a store. It's like trying to find the Holy Grail or Noah's Ark or the Ark of the Covenant or something. They always hide it in the most ridiculous place--like at Wal-Mart when they put it in the jewelry section. Out of all the places in Wal-Mart, they put it with the earrings. Because you want to buy some ID bracelets and a pair of knock-off sunglasses as a way of saying, "Have a happy life together."

2. The next thing I hate is the printing of the registry. First of all, I am eaily overwhelmed. So when that thing starts printing and a continuous two inch piece of paper longer than the Dead Sea Scrolls and the list of Elizabeth Taylor's husbands combined comes out of that blessed machine, I feel defeated before I even begin.

3. Then there is the dreaded search for the prduct you long to buy them:
"Ooh, this kitchenaid handheld mushroom slicer is only $20 and it would be PERFECT for them!" So you go to the aisle where the scroll locates the item, only to discover orange soda and plastic baggies.
Dang it!
Then you make your way to the aisle you think it should be in, and search through every single apple corer and lemon zester, and parmesan cheese grate, and magnetic refrigerator clip. Praise the Lord as you discover the item number on the little rack jutting out from the wall!! Then you discover that they are out of stock.

You know, I think a gift card is sounding better all the time.